I just feel if our national bird was the turkey we would all have to look like this.  

Remember when Coca-Cola had cocaine in it?  

Crazy

war effort

when brittany says, "I don't have any children," what she's really saying is: "What happened in Nam stays in Nam, man."

and when she says, "I don't date Asians."

she's really saying: "Not anymore, anyways."

Why we will never have buns of steel:

just sitting in our kitchen begging to be eaten

for reals

Why buy the cow?

Because we go through 2 gallons a WEEK.

My favorite part of SuperBowl XLIII?

when ol' bruce slid across the stage and his crotch hit the camera.