I'm sorry about your hair.

"Did you leave your hairspray up here?"

"Yes! Think how bad my hair has been this week!"

And I thought about it...

oh god i'm so worried.

This would be the day

I was driving by Horsetooth today, a most windy and crappy weather day, and I thought to myself "This would be a day JAN and I would choose to canoe."

We'd be all "It's too windy to paddle back" "But we gotta before the tornado hits us" "My arms hurt"

shared experience

let's say it together, now: "Awwwwwwww."

last will and testament

In Case of Emergency

I encourage you all to be so prepared.

yes please.

i'm really glad i'm looking more

babe-ish, less queerbait these days.

i've come a long way since

Voyage of the Mimi.

tarheel

when you grow up on the east coast, you learn a lot of what some might consider to be worthless crap. like "don't fly a kite near powerlines" - a warning that played between every afternoon episode of Full House and made us fear being electrified by a kite. every school year some weirdos would bring in a snapping turtle that had been run over. the turtle would have a bunch of screws and wires in its shell, keeping it alive, i guess. and we'd get to pet it. that's right. they had it in a homemade wooden stock to prevent it from reaching back its long neck to snap us and they'd expertly explain how if that stock wasn't preventing it, the turtle would promptly turn and bite off my hand. and even though i was still sucking my thumb at that age, i remember thinking, "this is ridiculous."

back row, far left.

i was pretty into that one.

or so it seems from the extensive documentation

in my lisafrank diary.

who does depression hurt? Everyone!

me: "i'm going to take a shower. it's the one thing i have left to look forward to."

mama: "at least you have one thing."

as you can see, my mom and i are sad sad sad.

so we're thinking about buying this baby doll that looks like a real orangutan.

Sometimes I get depressed that Julie and I didn't get to grow up together. But then today we were going through my old toys, most of which she had too, and it's kinda like we DID grow up together! She had the Littlest Pet Shop store in purple, while mine was pink and she told me which dogs were good for Barbie. So we talk and laugh about how good toys were when we were little and then I can start to replace my old friends with her in my memories.

oh-whoa

down in mexico, my counsin was worrying about how he was going to smuggle back all his cuban cigars and i suggested he tape them to his baby's stomach, because, hey, who's going to frisk a baby? especially a baby that's packin' heat in the form of TNT.

Elf taught me a lot about life

I was able to enlighten my mom and nephew today thanks to the educational movie Elf.

"What's this animal?"

"Oh that's a narwhal, remember in Elf - 'thanks Mr. Narwhal.'"

Blank Stares

"Well it's a narwhal, just trust me."

the goblins

best friends forever. life.

why is she my bffl? oh, there's many reasons i suppose.
but mostly because the last time we had a sleepover,

i sleep-hugged her and we both woke up

and started laughing.

and this was one of my finer moments

I think i've figured out why i'll never, ever find a boyfriend:

My pickup lines. They suck.

As can be seen in this wonderful exchange:

"Hey Kyle!! I see you spilled something on your shirt!"

"What?"

"Your shirt... water? or something..."

"Oh. That's probably sweat. My back's probably all sweaty too."

"No kidding; it's hot outside. I hate myself."

check out all those little flowers on that flower!

My new favorite flower.



Bonus: it's considered a weed in parts of Southeast Asia, Southern Africa and Australia.

He went into the woods and shitted.

"I tried to spell 'shitted,' but they wouldn't accept it!"
"Those jerks."
"My dad even used it in a sentence."
"You know what makes me lol? 'Shitted.'"

23-17

it's nights like tonight that i miss fort collins dearly.

sweet dreams, dude. i'm proud to have called you Home.

hark, now hear the sailors cry

my sister's boyfriend

"dude, he's a babe."

"that hair and those eyes and his love for freedom."

"like an angel who doesn't bathe."

"it makes me want to watch Maverick."

"i want him to rescue me from prima nochte."

"he looks like Jeff."

"i was just going to say that."

"[pause] are we allowed to say that?"

"i don't know the rules."