skeleton anatomy

Recently, I was told that lugers are "lame wimps" and that people want to see "the real men who go down head-first." Yeah, whatever. Lugers go down bulge-first, which says to me, "Here I am, world. I double dare ya."

And as a viewer, I say to them, "Much appreciated."

The sport doesn't mean to mock the Aborigines, it means to mock every kind of culture through dance and ice.

You know the Olympics are good when Jeff Carson comments on ice dancing.  

"The American B-team was better than those Canadians."

no denying it

"Do you like summer or winter Olympics better?"

"Summer."

"Why?"

"More skin."

Shani Davis

The Obama of the Speed Skating World. 

vancouver: New York's neighbor to the North.

the best thing about the olympics is that everybody gets to share their Olympic same-sex crush. and it ain't weird because we're just admiring perfection. and how, as BAB put it, "every single one of these people is better than us."

that's amore!

To BAB, my almost-wife,

You complete me.  

happy v-day,

JAN

roman numerals can smoke my pole

Remember the superbowl?


Me neither.

It's true.

I never learned double-dutch.

and he saw that it was good.

Who knew 'Sleigh Bells' could be so moving?

"Remember how good that symphony was?"
"And how every song made us cry a little?"
"Yeah. And how drunk we were?"

For he's a jolly good fellow

Thanks, Jeff Berens, for having Subway sandwiches at your "I graduated a month ago" party.  We had just been day dreaming about a turkey sub on wheat with everything but onions.  You're too cool. Too cool for school.

I wish Bob Costas was my dad

there is nothing BAB and i love more than the olympics. NOTHING. this last summer, thanks to an obscure channel that came through digital tv, we were able to rewatch the entire '08 olympics. and we cried the whole time.

the winter olympics are swiftly approaching, so we strongly advise you to begin preparing for it in the American tradition, neh:

OHNO! IT'S APOLO FLAVOR-SAVER TIME.

grow for the gold, eh?
U! S! A!

$ + $ = :D

If you have money your job can be crafting.  Crafting and making Greeting Cards.

Did I ever tell you about the time I got SO fat, they had to use one of those cranes to get me out of the house?

generational gaps

"We need to find those things that go over shoes so we don't get foot-rot if it rains."

"They're called rubbers!"

"Mom, we can't just google that. There would just be a bunch of pictures of things we'll never need."

"Condoms."

"And we would try to put them over our shoes and we'd be like, 'Why are they so small?'"

"And, 'Why are they so slippery?'"

"You guys, stop."

"We can't."

"Ever."

our heaven on earth

We only do things if we're promised we can swim at the hot springs afterwards.

Climb that mountain? Never. Oh, we get to go to Glenwood after? Alright.

Go see giant ice sculptures? No way. Did you just say Glenwood? BAB's already waiting in the car.

Bury this body-shaped object for you? Sir, we don't even know you. You'll drive us to Glenwood after?! How deep do you want it?