Call me twinkle toes.

I just noticed a ring around the collar of my white t-shirt, gross.  Which brings to mind the live action version of The Flinstones.

Betty: "Wilma, how'd you get rid of the ring around the collar?"
Wilma: "I just started washing Fred's neck."
General merriment: "MhMhMhMh!"

Sleigh Bells

It's a great song, but why do I always have to be in the room when that song is playing and not when Blue Christmas is?  All I ask is for a little diversity.

We know; we KNOW!

The fates did not want us to be together this weekend.

Good luck on finals, Babalabadingdong. When you're done, I'll come up and crash on the couch with you,  utterly exhausted, 
just like old times.

My best good friend.

When we see someone we haven't seen for awhile, they always inquire, "And how is she doing? Do you guys still talk or ever get to see each other?" To which we slightly scoff, "Yeah... we talk.  Every day. She's doing quite well."

I guess what I'd like the world to one day understand is that it's not every lifetime that you find a BAB, so when you do, when you're lucky enough to meet someone who, well, simply put - makes sense - you better hold on to it with all your heart while the rest of the world swirls and tosses you. And I do. Forever. Life.  

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year.

I'll  no doubt be playing the part of Bernard.

Are we really no better than Chicago, the animal slaughter capital of the world?

It feels a little Al Capone-y around here these days, but a little less alcohol smuggling and a little more sexual predator.  Thanks P. Sullivan, but not really.

"Did you see what he wrote?!" "About the coffee?!" [Laughter erupts]

Some might also say, "Coffee

makes my poops loose."

At first I was appalled

Now, I like it! The best part is sitting on the lights on the couch... they warm your hind-quarters.

Got our fill.

Oh, gross, Journey.

O Tannenbaum

This is how a Christmas tree should be: huge, asymmetrical, shittily decorated, complete with a family of nesting squirrels that nibble on your popcorn garlands and your children's grubby fingers.

And there it is.

Forgot about it over night.
The usual smell of my Christmas stocking!

Mildred!

"I was just emailing and old pal, and you know, you haven't seen each other in 5 years so you're expecting a little information, but all I got was 2 sentences!"

"That's when I start getting crazy and saying things like, 'It's been a pretty tough year since Arnold isn't governor anymore. Who will do those move to California commercials now?' So that they never reply."

This was literally spoken outloud to me today: "I just so don't want to turn 25."

And I couldn't yell, "I'M 25 YOU B-HOLE!"  because she's just an innocent punk.

Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice. -ANON

Teenage bab: "This philosopher, Anon, has got it going on!  I should look up all his quotes."

But yesterday I thought about how 'Anon' is short for Anonymous and my teenage coolness dropped 1 point to put me at an even zero.

Not a mole, doctor.

Many things are happening in this picture. But most importantly, the bruise on my big toenail (right) is almost grown out. This was a month ago. At the end of November, it's now half-way off my toe! I don't know what I'll do without it. I've had dreams about it. It's been a part of me since February, when the dog dropped her cow-thigh-bone on me and made me reflexively hit my boyfriend. What a wild ride.

preachy

Just a friendly reminder to wash your headlights everytime you stop for gas! I only remember to once in a while and, man, are they always dirty. And everytime I wash them, I hear my mom saying, "Good girl."

Nothing but blue skies

("You have such skinny legs! Why are yours so much thinner than mine?"

"Have you ever seen a deer with fat legs?"

"No..."

"Well, I'm your dear." 

Happy she's with the love of her life, quite sad to let her go.

Things that will always make me think, "Grandma Virginia." 
jacks; garlic; brick houses; Singin' in the Rain; grandfather clocks; Catholic blessings said too fast; writing "tomorrow" (tom. or. row.); lyrics to "Blue Skies"; the phrases "my darling" "dirty bird" "shame on you" "I'm gonna eat you up"; xoxo; and my toes.)

... from now on.

Innovention

A creative Christmas decoration created by a 5 year old.

Static Cling.

Algebra

It's so hard to sub for a math class because all I want to do is say, "Yeah, this is bullshit. Don't worry about it. You will never need to use this."

No one is allowed to go to space anymore anyways, so I think it's safe to say obsolete.

The greatest scam of all time: upper level mathematics.

She like 'em Plain and tall

"Plain is the missionary style of caramel apples. But I'm sure I'd like peanuts."

                                       - B.A.B.

A forced hike.

Julie did a good job of keeping up the blog while I was off hunting pandas and eating Thanksgiving dinner in Connecticut.

Holiday season!

You know what that means! It's time to make your house smell like Christmas memories! Add water, cinnamon, clove, and orange peels. Boil on the stove until you forget about it and all the water evaporates, attempt to scrub the burned mess for an hour, then spend the next few months picking out black flakes from your ramen. Ahhhhh... succulent smells.

Thanksgiving Declarations

Thanksgiving dinner was delicious and everything I hoped it would be.  Aunt Maggie asked if I missed my family and I said, "no way!" and I really didn't.  Thanksgiving is about the food, not the people, and the food was great.

- B.A.B.

The most precious squinkie, and it's all mine.

Bab's mom handpicked this for me; the cutest squinkie from the entire package! Call her Sprinkles, for that is her name. Part zeb-ruh, part giraffe, part baby unicorn, completely adorable.

I'm also very thankful for these idiots.

Extremely thankful.

Thankings

Drawing on bab's really dusty TV:

"Julie, doohn't..."

"I'm just drawing an elephant."

I KNEW we were gonna blow it.

"So, old icecream-face was the 1000th post?!"

Yep. So lame.

The only downside of having chocolate peanut butter as a snack at work

is the smudge of chocolate left on my face after eating several spoonfuls.  

It's a shame nobody lets me know I look so good either.

My favorite video.

NOT because of stupid Rick Perry. Who cares about him? I love the adorableness that is Ron Paul, waving his hand around, saying stuff.

"Five! You need FIVE!"

I didn't know they still made tv dinners this bad.

sub a dub do

"The kids at that school really dig my hair do! All of 'em. I don't know why."

"Because it defies conventions."

Snow friggin White

Yesterday I saw:
  1. A deer and her buck boyfriend eating a snack right by my work building.
  2. Mickey Mouse hanging out by my desk (we made eye contact, both jumped and then he ran away).
  3. A fox prancing through the fields on my way to class!

However, today all I saw was a squirrel tail - detached from the squirrel.

Is it too much to ask for 13+ years out of my sheets?

Because I was shocked when my sheep'n stars flannel sheet made cracking noises and fell right off the corners.

Hey listen, Baby Blue Eyes,

quit batting those things at my man and acting all coy. Lay off. I know the game. Although, I don't think you did yourself any favor when you chose to pull your sock off with your teeth.

  It was a little Gollum-esque.

Back when we thought she was part german shepard

One of those baby-eating dogs.

Now we know she's part American dingo.

Just another baby-eater.

Can you believe I didn't even want her? Sorry, Hoochie!  

Punished.

New songs in Disney movies is what you get when you're too cheap to buy them from the store so you get the library version.

Look ensemble, we only care about the main characters.

Confession: I can't see the man in the moon

And when I'm explained it, I'm not sure I want to see that creeper face anyway.

Upper Upper Mezzanine

Remember at the end of Swan Lake, when she is standing on the edge, contemplating her ill fates - then a spaceship comes and whisks her away, planning to take her to the moon where she will dance forever, but suddenly she remembers I have m.f.ing wings! And she flies off with a flock of really good looking geese who are passing by as they follow a girl in an ultralight; her friends sad to see the princess go, but happy she's going to a warmer climate. Fantastic!

Hm? Come again? That's not what happens? AT ALL? Well, from our severly cropped the view in the cheap seats, we could only see her feet, so who really knows what was going on in that sky. And we all agreed it isn't worth an extra $20 to find out.

Zookeeper

This was back when zoos didn't realize some wild animals were dangerous. You could go right ahead and touch that ivory horn. Then, like always, some chumpy people had to go ruin the dream by falling in lion pens and getting mauled and such.  

the only tattoo i'd ever get.

:)  :)  :)  :)

tmnt emoticons.

a wish your heart makes.

Last night I had a dream that Bab and I were boo-ing sore losers at a Zumba class. And then I won for most creative nickname/motto (I don't know what it was) and my prize was four big frozen sodas and an armfull of corndogs!! Then everyone was glaring at me and I yelled "Three cheers for Julie! Jeeeew-Lee! Jeeeew-Lee! Jeeew-Lee!" And I was laughing so hard.

It was the happiest dream I ever had.

It's probably because Robyn told me I was the best dancer last night, and then I ate kielbasa and kraut right before bed. 

Baby, baby, baby

This is the baby that could hardly look at me yesterday without balling her eyes out.  She's sending mixed messages.

Another food crisis averted. He acts like we do this all the time.

Thanks to TJ ordering for Nachos before we had to wait 30 minutes for a pizza that would've left us hungry, silent and a little angry.

it happens

Yesterday while walking through a high school parking lot, I heard a lot of heavy-duty cursing coming from one general direction. I thought to myself  I'm not breaking up a fight. So I only looked slightly to my left. There was a boy standing with his buddy, cursing at a girl sitting in a Ford Focus. His brand new Jaguar was resting ever-so-nicely against her bumper. Which, according to him, was 500 effing dollars mother effer.

The sun seemed to shine a little brighter after that. I could breathe easier, knowing that shitty things still happen to punk teenagers.

It's November.

Well, whooptie-freakin-doo.