The laugh track people thought it was a hoot

While my hopes weren't high, per se, they were still mildly intrigued. What can I say? The guy makes me laugh. But, I should have known what to expect when I saw the upside down exclamation point. Spanish soap opera.

Cruella Deville

Remember those 4H kids in high school who were training the seeing eye puppies? And as they pulled it past you, you would go for the belly rub and be instantly filled with joy as it licked you and rolly-pollied. Then the human would get all uppity and say, "Please do not pet him! They are in training! He is not a pet; he's a tool." And you and the puppy just looked at each other, knowing who the real tool was, and you mumbled as you sat back in your desk, "But, he's a puppy! ... and he loves me."

Role Call

A student in this class is named Phuoc...

I can't say that, right?

a foot and a cheek

I didn't know you had a butt cheek scar from that day!  I guess it's as good a place as any to get a scar, just like a foot is fine too :)  It's like when people get matching tattoos to remember something.  The world kicked our asses on the same day and now we get to remember it forever.

                                                                    - B.A.B.



Rick Astley is never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

That guy? Are you kidding me? That voice comes from that dork? No shit.

Treasure Mountain:

The greatest computer game ever. If it's not part of your childhood memories, then you have my pity.

The most depressing days of the year

Just a heads up for anyone who shares our affinity for Glenwood Hot Springs:

The pool is open year-round, except on these dates!

January 11, 2012
February 29, 2012
April 24 & 25, 2012
September 5, 2012
November 6 & 7, 2012


Mark it on your calendars.

Heaty blanket time

"When I get home, I'm going to burn Shrek 2 and

watch it."

- J.A.N.

A good weekend.

Thanks, friends, for not making me feel shamed after I clogged the hotel toilet.

No gas fire on my watch.

I don't know about you but I am always instantly terrified and then extremely relieved when my hand gets shocked as I shut my car door when getting gas.

And there's a chance we'll say, "If someone ever told me to put out more, I would become celibate."

Don't they say Step One
is acknowledging the crazy?

We've already done that.

                           - B.A.B.

Glass Blowing

It's a job I could never do because my mean O-Chem partner told me how her boyfriend had lung problems from the glass dust.  

Plus I'm pretty sure I'd get stuck at the bong factory.

Glenwood Gossip

"Who does that guy look like? He looks like somebody..."
"The fawn from Narnia."
"I thought that too, but that's not it."

[10 minutes later]

"Balki!"
"BALKI!?! Yep."

Makes my heart go 2-4-6

Candy wrappers are a joke. How come they are all so loud? Like, "Hey everybody! Come ask for a taste of the one thing in my life that I never want to have less of." And the sneakier you try to be with it, the more distinct the crinkle becomes.
I love candy.

"We all live with the objective of being happy, our lives are all different and yet the same." - Anne

I've been listening to an audiobook of Anne Frank's diary. I'm to the last cd and I'm a little afraid to keep listening. Who can listen to the most tragic ending ever, especially when driving?

But, it's probably best I'm almost done listening because I can't quit quoting the words, and today I went so far as to give a facebook scolding to Bab's impudent cousin. Anne Frank just makes most teenagers alive today look like turds.

We keep losing because the coaches made their players read his memoir and they got really inspired.

In the words of my dad, if we lose, it will be a moral victory.

you've got to set yourself on fire.

Sunrise:

just God's way of reminding you
that you'd rather still be in bed.

Simply kindred spirits.

I once read a long article about the Roosevelts.   It taught me about how Eleanor's last name was Roosevelt even before she married Franklin (distant cousins).  The author suggested an affair between Eleanor and Lorena Hickok because they wrote each other many long letters, one of which stated, 'I kiss your picture before I go to sleep at night.'

I'm still not entirely convinced; the same could be said of me and JAN.

What I learned in 2011

#1 There is no need to be afraid of geese.

#2 I cannot carry on with Harry Potter bashers.

yo duh

Last night Bab took me to my first yoga class. She was good. I was not good. It felt very much like this:

And then we ate peanuts in the car, like a couple of squirrels.

Good Morning, 2012!

Mr. Hardy

This a-hole is getting hitched tomorrow!

It seems like just yesterday we were sitting in Old Chicago's on our second happy hour, listening to him shout "Prince Albert!"

JAN at work

I wore these nicer fitting dress pants that are not the best for sitting in all day. Give me back my ill-fitting baggy pants that you once mistook for stretchy pants!!

                            -J.A.N.

Proportionate

A photo in which both JAN and I say to ourselves, 

"How big is my head?"

Glenwood Moments

"Frisk me!"

"Quit leaning into it, lady."

"Heh! What's that from?"
"This moment, right now."

Back up

I know she's my best friend because she lets me have the lead when we belt out Mr. Big.

Small children getting artsy with the camera ->

 

Pignoli cookies: mostly almond paste, mostly.

All the recipe reviews say these cookies are easy breezy.  Robyn and I call "BS!"

But after cooking 1 cookie at a time, we finally got it.

Why will JAN and I someday get kicked out of Cinzetti's for life?

Oh just some scheming that involves ordering a glass of wine and keeping it magically full with a bag safely stored in a purse.

There's also a small chance it will be for stealing cannolis to take home to Grandpa because my Grandma is the worst thief EVER.

short stuff.

Happy Winter Solstice to you! Sometimes it feels like I've been waiting for this day since the summer solstice.

                                                                 - B.A.B.

I spy

5 people in this picture. See if you can find them!

"You're right, the turtle costume does help."

Bab and I finally got to spend some good old fashioned quality time together this past weekend. Here's a homevideo of a turtle eating bread to better express what those moments feel like for us:

"What's taters?"

I'm getting this book from the library: The Potato in the Human Diet.  How exciting, eh?  I literally can't believe how boring I'm becoming.  

                                                               - B.A.B.

Dear Santa,

Please let me one day have enough drunken courage to get up and sing "All I want for Christmas," in the key of Chipmunk. At karaoke. In June.

Sincerely,
Julie

Call me twinkle toes.

I just noticed a ring around the collar of my white t-shirt, gross.  Which brings to mind the live action version of The Flinstones.

Betty: "Wilma, how'd you get rid of the ring around the collar?"
Wilma: "I just started washing Fred's neck."
General merriment: "MhMhMhMh!"

Sleigh Bells

It's a great song, but why do I always have to be in the room when that song is playing and not when Blue Christmas is?  All I ask is for a little diversity.

We know; we KNOW!

The fates did not want us to be together this weekend.

Good luck on finals, Babalabadingdong. When you're done, I'll come up and crash on the couch with you,  utterly exhausted, 
just like old times.

My best good friend.

When we see someone we haven't seen for awhile, they always inquire, "And how is she doing? Do you guys still talk or ever get to see each other?" To which we slightly scoff, "Yeah... we talk.  Every day. She's doing quite well."

I guess what I'd like the world to one day understand is that it's not every lifetime that you find a BAB, so when you do, when you're lucky enough to meet someone who, well, simply put - makes sense - you better hold on to it with all your heart while the rest of the world swirls and tosses you. And I do. Forever. Life.  

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year.

I'll  no doubt be playing the part of Bernard.

Are we really no better than Chicago, the animal slaughter capital of the world?

It feels a little Al Capone-y around here these days, but a little less alcohol smuggling and a little more sexual predator.  Thanks P. Sullivan, but not really.

"Did you see what he wrote?!" "About the coffee?!" [Laughter erupts]

Some might also say, "Coffee

makes my poops loose."

At first I was appalled

Now, I like it! The best part is sitting on the lights on the couch... they warm your hind-quarters.

Got our fill.

Oh, gross, Journey.

O Tannenbaum

This is how a Christmas tree should be: huge, asymmetrical, shittily decorated, complete with a family of nesting squirrels that nibble on your popcorn garlands and your children's grubby fingers.

And there it is.

Forgot about it over night.
The usual smell of my Christmas stocking!

Mildred!

"I was just emailing and old pal, and you know, you haven't seen each other in 5 years so you're expecting a little information, but all I got was 2 sentences!"

"That's when I start getting crazy and saying things like, 'It's been a pretty tough year since Arnold isn't governor anymore. Who will do those move to California commercials now?' So that they never reply."

This was literally spoken outloud to me today: "I just so don't want to turn 25."

And I couldn't yell, "I'M 25 YOU B-HOLE!"  because she's just an innocent punk.

Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice. -ANON

Teenage bab: "This philosopher, Anon, has got it going on!  I should look up all his quotes."

But yesterday I thought about how 'Anon' is short for Anonymous and my teenage coolness dropped 1 point to put me at an even zero.

Not a mole, doctor.

Many things are happening in this picture. But most importantly, the bruise on my big toenail (right) is almost grown out. This was a month ago. At the end of November, it's now half-way off my toe! I don't know what I'll do without it. I've had dreams about it. It's been a part of me since February, when the dog dropped her cow-thigh-bone on me and made me reflexively hit my boyfriend. What a wild ride.

preachy

Just a friendly reminder to wash your headlights everytime you stop for gas! I only remember to once in a while and, man, are they always dirty. And everytime I wash them, I hear my mom saying, "Good girl."