Some things we observed while sitting 70 feet from the man

when the dancers are in front of him, they are a black hole that he refuses to look at. Not even with his peripherals. He wanted no part of it. Nor did he want part of the free pretzel given to him late in the 2nd half. If I have any regrets in life, it was choosing not to wear my jersey that night, and choosing to pack more peanuts in my purse vs. camera with crazy zoom. One time, right after I yawned, HE was yawning. Mmm hmm.

Sorry, little neighbor girl who was playing with the new puppy,

for having to witness me crying during that episode of Say Yes to the Dress. That has NEVER happened. But, what do you expect when a groom who has Lou Gehrig's disease writes his vows to say, "I promise to fight as hard as I can for you, for as long as God allows me to be here." At least you had a puppy in your lap to comfort you.

BAB x 2

There exists one other person at CSU that has the exact same name as me.  I've gotten her library book once and many of her emails.  I'm guessing she has done the same.  Here's what I know: she studies ecology, likely focusing on bees.  It just so happens that I once studied bees with JAN during a summer in our undergraduate careers.

Should my project start truly breaking me down, I might propose we pull a "Parent Trap."

Short story

One day I looked to my left and there was a spider hanging out on my shoulder.  I thought, "What the heck are you doing there?"
The arachnid was likely pondering, "What the heck am I doing here?"

"I'm filling up my water cup with iced tea."

"What's she doing?"

"She's doing what her outfit suggests she would do."

Happy Valentine's Day!

Just remember, someone loves you. Probably. 



I once knew a pretty girl. And she was in love with the world.

If I was going to donate money to NPR/CPR it would be for two reasons:

1) it gives Bab and me something to coincidentally small talk about and sound very snooty at the same time
"Did you know there was a guy dressed as spiderman who got arrested because he was climbing buildings? Because - "
" - And I quote: Because he likes it." "JINX."

2) These two sisters from Sweden. (First Aid Kit).

I really hope CPR reaches it's 8100 pledges. For as much as $10 a month, you will receive a canvas totebag! People of the world - reach into your pockets so I don't have to hear those androgynous voices only talking about donations every other minute. I want to hear lame stories about viruses in the ocean! They destroy half the bacteria in the ocean EVERY day! But, that's life, baby!

Oh yeah.

I was recently offered half a bowl of cereal, and that sparked a rusty memory of sharing cereal with someone before bedtime when I was little. And then I remembered it wasn't someone, it was my grandpa John. And it wasn't cereal, it was ice cream. Two spoons and a bowl of ice cream between us.

And I was very glad I haven't forgotten that.

Golden Girls

My calves are still sore from our Monday night aquasize class, where - mind you - Bab and I were complimented on our athletic enthusiasm by the instructor. And I like to think all the old dudes were silently voicing their approval.

"I was going to go live with the gorillas!" - Liz Lemon

Did you know Jane Goodall had a stuffed monkey that she loved ever since she was a baby? It's true! I just read it in the enchanting, heartfelt book called Me...Jane, which can be found at Barnes & Nobles, in the children's section.

I snuck this picture!

Oh, daytime tv.

I can't say for certain, but I think these are the Hos.

hehe!

The #1 question asked on TurboTax online is:  "Can I claim my boyfriend as a dependent?"

Snow Day!!!

And while my Mr. Plow-that'shisnamethatnameagainisMrPlow- is gone, I'm stuck with ol' hooch-hound, who is so excited that she has to run some laps only to come back to attack my hands and feet. At present, she is napping, and after a visit to the bathroom, that's exactly what I'm going to do.

thinking the exact same thing. always.

And that's why you and I are friends AND

we don't have any friends.

                                     - B.A.B.

The biggest compliment I ever got.

"She's not as wonderful as LeeAnne, but she's good."

                                       - My future brother, the dude who would look through me if I didn't ask him direct questions

I wasn't sure what an "options school" meant

but after subbing there today, I realize it's the place where kids whose parents have tribal face tattoos have to go. The carpool lane was more interesting than it's ever been. Then I found this picture on the interdoobie and I had to post it. Florida, dude? America's Wang? On your face.

Oops

Today there was something that I remembered that B & I should give a general public warning about & I was thinking how people reading it would be like "Not very funny, but how informative!"

I have no recollection of what it was I wanted to warn you about. Doesn't it make you just a little more inexplicably frightened? Sorry!

The magical fruit has proved as difficult to digest as ever.

Why are the birds out singing in the middle of winter?

 
I had a ghost feeling of spring!

Zumba moves

"I pretend that I'm flicking my cigarette on the ground and stomping it out.  You can use it."

                                      - J.A.N.

Parents of the World!

Get your child a quality sleeping bag for camping, because she does't have double the body heat or half the fat. Your daughter will lay awake with frozen feet while you snore away and eventually stick a leg out of your bed because it is a little "too balmy."

but not these, these are stupid.

We know because we asked.

Great news!  There is no age limit to riding the water slide at the APEX pool, according to the cute little high school lifeguard who couldn't quit talking to Julie.  

Hap Hap Happy Day

Yesterday marked the 25th year of Robyn's lowly existence. And what was waiting for her in the mailbox that morning? A speeding ticket from the city of Fort Collins! Complete with a colored photo. The gift that gives back. And the party favor last night was a sticky butt due to chemicals left unrinsed after her annual birthday bathroom scrub down. Thanks, Robbie! It was a fun night. May the luck of the budha flow through your bones this year, sweet baby.

Why do I love him?

Samsies.

when the livin's easy

I have the non-fading desire for it to be summer time, right neh. I can't wait to have another full one. Daylight, hot dogs, camping, drinking alcohol because you want to not because you need to, so green!, no nipple-chaffing, races, decreased bouts of crying, sundresses, blueberries, bike rides, river disasters, and whistling. Last night, we were so high on the fumes of summer dreaming, that we even talked about maybe climbing a 14er, agreeing it's "Fun enough."

Oh man. January, why must you force us all
to repeatedly suck it?! 

burny!

Having jalepeno residue on your fingers is a good way to monitor how much you pick your nose.


Which is ALL THE TIME, apparently.

I made up a new move. It's called "Pass me the horsey sauce!"

Today's inappropriate student name?

I kid you not.

I just watched the Rick Astley video and JAN was right!

It's another instance of, "I'm pretty sure he's a 48 year old black man," gone wrong.


I also must wonder, why she was listening to this song in the first place.

Who is copying whose face? And how did that nose sneak in the picture?

The laugh track people thought it was a hoot

While my hopes weren't high, per se, they were still mildly intrigued. What can I say? The guy makes me laugh. But, I should have known what to expect when I saw the upside down exclamation point. Spanish soap opera.

Cruella Deville

Remember those 4H kids in high school who were training the seeing eye puppies? And as they pulled it past you, you would go for the belly rub and be instantly filled with joy as it licked you and rolly-pollied. Then the human would get all uppity and say, "Please do not pet him! They are in training! He is not a pet; he's a tool." And you and the puppy just looked at each other, knowing who the real tool was, and you mumbled as you sat back in your desk, "But, he's a puppy! ... and he loves me."

Role Call

A student in this class is named Phuoc...

I can't say that, right?

a foot and a cheek

I didn't know you had a butt cheek scar from that day!  I guess it's as good a place as any to get a scar, just like a foot is fine too :)  It's like when people get matching tattoos to remember something.  The world kicked our asses on the same day and now we get to remember it forever.

                                                                    - B.A.B.



Rick Astley is never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

That guy? Are you kidding me? That voice comes from that dork? No shit.

Treasure Mountain:

The greatest computer game ever. If it's not part of your childhood memories, then you have my pity.

The most depressing days of the year

Just a heads up for anyone who shares our affinity for Glenwood Hot Springs:

The pool is open year-round, except on these dates!

January 11, 2012
February 29, 2012
April 24 & 25, 2012
September 5, 2012
November 6 & 7, 2012


Mark it on your calendars.

Heaty blanket time

"When I get home, I'm going to burn Shrek 2 and

watch it."

- J.A.N.

A good weekend.

Thanks, friends, for not making me feel shamed after I clogged the hotel toilet.

No gas fire on my watch.

I don't know about you but I am always instantly terrified and then extremely relieved when my hand gets shocked as I shut my car door when getting gas.

And there's a chance we'll say, "If someone ever told me to put out more, I would become celibate."

Don't they say Step One
is acknowledging the crazy?

We've already done that.

                           - B.A.B.

Glass Blowing

It's a job I could never do because my mean O-Chem partner told me how her boyfriend had lung problems from the glass dust.  

Plus I'm pretty sure I'd get stuck at the bong factory.

Glenwood Gossip

"Who does that guy look like? He looks like somebody..."
"The fawn from Narnia."
"I thought that too, but that's not it."

[10 minutes later]

"Balki!"
"BALKI!?! Yep."

Makes my heart go 2-4-6

Candy wrappers are a joke. How come they are all so loud? Like, "Hey everybody! Come ask for a taste of the one thing in my life that I never want to have less of." And the sneakier you try to be with it, the more distinct the crinkle becomes.
I love candy.

"We all live with the objective of being happy, our lives are all different and yet the same." - Anne

I've been listening to an audiobook of Anne Frank's diary. I'm to the last cd and I'm a little afraid to keep listening. Who can listen to the most tragic ending ever, especially when driving?

But, it's probably best I'm almost done listening because I can't quit quoting the words, and today I went so far as to give a facebook scolding to Bab's impudent cousin. Anne Frank just makes most teenagers alive today look like turds.

We keep losing because the coaches made their players read his memoir and they got really inspired.

In the words of my dad, if we lose, it will be a moral victory.

you've got to set yourself on fire.

Sunrise:

just God's way of reminding you
that you'd rather still be in bed.

Simply kindred spirits.

I once read a long article about the Roosevelts.   It taught me about how Eleanor's last name was Roosevelt even before she married Franklin (distant cousins).  The author suggested an affair between Eleanor and Lorena Hickok because they wrote each other many long letters, one of which stated, 'I kiss your picture before I go to sleep at night.'

I'm still not entirely convinced; the same could be said of me and JAN.

What I learned in 2011

#1 There is no need to be afraid of geese.

#2 I cannot carry on with Harry Potter bashers.

yo duh

Last night Bab took me to my first yoga class. She was good. I was not good. It felt very much like this:

And then we ate peanuts in the car, like a couple of squirrels.

Good Morning, 2012!