anniversary adversary

"Celebrating one year

 of putting up with your bullshit."

                                                  - TJ

The other day I itched my head like one of those confused monkeys.

It's just soda.

"There's only 1 thing that goes in an American flag koozie.
                  And that's Coors Light."

Drive-thru

I'm still not 100% sure why there's pictures of How To Train Your Dragon: 2 drive-in on my phone.  We must have had a reason other than delicious sangria.

I win the race!

It takes TJ  five minutes longer to bicycle ride to work than it takes me! 

Don't consider that his ride is twice as long.

finding nemo

Once upon a time he was a little baby who I could impress with my magnadoodle drawings, and then suddenly he's an almost 3rd grader who corrects me when i mistakenly say a fish looks like a brontosaurus instead of a brachiosaurus. But, he still gives a good hug and screamed and ran when the water splashed us in the flash flood simulator. I followed suit.

Friday!

Get yourself some chunky thighs to love
this weekend. 

what a bunch of Huffpuffs

[A phone conversation]

JAN: Let's wait to put on our robes until right before the concert. Just so we don't look too weird walking around Denver!

MEGAN: Oh yeah, that's what I was thinking too! [ashamed, secretly takes off HP glasses and robes]

It was only because of Megan's bravery

that BAB and I were conviced we should wear these robes!

(Even though B didn't wear her glasses the whole time)

The symphony-goers loved it!

And we sweated our aces off.

And I had to admit to another adult female that

"My mom made these robes."

natural selection

I was recently pondering aloud about a real concern I've been carrying for a while: if I had been born an indian, how would I have survived because without contacts or glasses, I'm pretty much blind. Would I have just sat by the fire, weaving baskets? I surely couldn't hunt buffalo or gather berries. Then TJ informed me that I probably wouldn't have been a choice bride by nature so I would have been left as a lonely old spinster who no one wanted to mate with and by natural selection my gene defect would go extinct.

 So, pretty much if I had been born an indian, my life wouldn't be that much different.

JAN's coworker is stressed at work!

"I told her I would sprinkle more M&Ms into my glass bowl whenever I assign her a ticket so she'll associate a ticket with good things! hah! She said she's not a Pavlovian dog. Coulda fooled me."

Being on the scored goals reel is every keeper's nightmare.

171 Goals Scored: 2014 was a record high number of goals scored in a World Cup, tied with 1998 in France.

"Must be because of global warming."

what I'll be doing under my desk at work for the next few weeks

Omgee.

It feels magical, like I'm reading it 

for the first time.

monkies would make terrible leaders

"How many times have I asked you

if you've seen the original Planet of the Apes? 

When I'm old and losing it, people will be like,

'She's losing her mind, she asks all the time if I've seen Planet of the Apes.' And you'll be like,
 "Nah, she's done that forever.'"
                                                            -bab

Faker

"Reese, your vacation drawings are sooo good that I don't even feel like I need to look at the real photographs!"

"Grandma, I didn't even stand under a palm tree."

viet hoa!

About a year ago, my favorite Asian market closed! 

I was so bummed out because that meant I could no longer

buy all my favorite weird things! 

Then as if a gift from Siam, 

we drove by it in the slums of our neighborhood!

It hadn't closed, just relocated!

The big white girl is back, baby!

And this time I had cred because TJ 

was with me!

A weird flakey wax-paper wrapped cookie?

I'll take a box, thank you!

Yikes.

The frog bucket.

Swampy

"Good luck to us both on our sweaty ass bike rides home!"
      - jan

I want to play for Brazil because you get to select your own name! Granted, you have to live up to it.

#7  Hulk 

My favorite

Tiger Balm? Tiger Balm!

Brazil can be summed up in one phrase - Tiger Balm! We sang a song about it every night, put it on our itchy bites and blisties and bugged the crap out of Andy.

my favorite little E.T.

I bought her that clown doll.

The one thing I swore I would never do to a child!

I don't think this one is scary to her though, because she bit his face upon first inspection.

lunch break entertainment

Poor little nanner jumped off the diving board yesterday and about drowned himself. The lifeguard dove in and fished him out just fine. This was right after all the kids waiting in line behind him had shouted, "Do something cool!"

Expletives at Barnes and Noble

punk kid: "Excuse me, can you pull on this piece of gum?"
jan: "What's it going to do to me?"
  pulls gum
jan: "It zapped me!"
  kids laugh and run away


A few minutes later jan admits the whole truth, "That thing was fucking zappy!"

US v. Germany

Time to dust off the ol' propaganda posters!

Still relevant!

I wonder who Robbie will root for,

what with her Bratwurst heritage

and willingness to assemble?

Yay USA!

TJ & I came up with world cup t-shirts for BAB to wear in Brazil

We thought of them the day after she left.

outdid

"Do you sell iced coffee?"

"No."

"Do you sell coffee?"

"Yes."

"Ok, great. I'll take a cup of coffee with cream, and a cup of ice."

"... That'll be $1.25, sir."

easter bunnies

Judging by her actions last weekend, she's going to dip this bunny in chocolate and devour the entire thing.

You won't even have to double dare her.

Robyn's taking me to the World Cup!

Holy schnikies!  I'll be looking like this the whole time, so watch carefully.

It's easier to just tell people you play soccer so if anyone asks, I'm a full-back.

See ya in a couple weeks, Goooooaaaaallllll!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Days

Happy birthday shout out to my sister Amy.

She's a hell of a good mom to the cutest baby

in the world.

I love her because she has her cake

and sometimes eats it for breakfast, too.

Show me a pottery syllabus and I'll show you a lady who doesn't read a syllabus

weight lifting

a father's advice

"I have 3 primal fears:

Sharks,

Tornadoes,

 and  Bears.

And your mother."

"These are our DRESS sneakers!"

JAN and I will fight for the right to wear dress-up sneakers and so will Ellen.

Which is probably why assumptions are sometimes made.

Happy Friday!

Here's to a good weekend of 

peeing in pools with your 

favorite peeps.

"He wanted sugar wadder." - lady from M.I.B.

Oh gross.We've got an infestation.

Un-Happiest Place on Earth: the highway going past this exit

Can you believe we just drove on by?

There are very few people I would let torture me

like this, so my hubsband should feel honored

I only asked, "Are you SURE you dont want to go? 

Mickey lets us stay until midnight!

I'll buy you a churro!" about 5x.

Give or take.

It felt so un-American.

Reason #804 why JAN's my BFFL

She saved the Reese's candies from her Easter basket for me and I get to eat one every time I go over to her house!  

I'm sensitive, alright?

Don't tease me about the bundles of "change holders" I'm going to end up with because of my crappy pottery skills.  It hits a nerve I can't recover from.

Mermaid currency

JAN told me she found 5 sand dollars snorkeling, sounds more like she robbed a mermaid bank.

A place to catch food

I got the gap re-instated between my teeth and I swear I look poorer now. 

Life Lesson #1

Don't be the backboard!  

We learned this playing the ancient sport of college beer pong.  I think there is some sort of wisdom in there.

The weck jar metal clasp reminded me of those times today when it hopped off the jar lid and bounced off my belly.

Perspective

"I love the easter reese's because they come in a carrot shaped bag, so you can pretend they're healthy carrot bites!"
- J.A.N.

Bean there! Done that!

A wonderfully cheesy joke donated by Aunt Maggie.

Everyone has to say, "Because they call the city Beantown.....................................................................................wait, no, that's Boston.  Chicago is The Windy City."

I'm gonna lay my head on the chest i know

That stray puppy walked past everyone on the beach

and stopped in front of TJ, nodded,

then gently curled up in the shade 

and put his damned adorable head right in TJ's lap,
his paw on TJ's foot.

They hung out like this for a long while
and TJ named him Pedro.

That's just the kind of man TJ is.


Feliz cumpleanos, muchacho!

Qbert says, "Have a great weekend, honkies!"

endangered Species List

This baby's been going strong for 10 years - it was one of the flukes that missed the factory line where they implanted a "die in 4 years" chip. I feel like writing about it is tempting fate -but I just want to say I'm proud of you little buddy! Stay with me forever! And let's work on making our "25 most played" list not include more than one alanis mortissette song.

Poor mom; when your sister knows no shame, you pay and strangers are entertained.

JAN does the best haircuts

Way better than cutting my own, where last time I snipped my neck a little.

Don't let the weekend be over!

What a good Sunday: best friend time, baby time, Amy time, The Rio time.  Ahhhh.

Now we go back to our most unnatural environment, work.