Every month my work calendar gives me new helpful information

The disappointment made her join a snowboarder gang :(

Watch what you let JAN see because she will tell your nieces and nephew things that knock you out of your hero status.

"I thought you were only supposed to shoot army men with the bb gun."

                - Corbin

I'll get my sweet revenge with Camber.

love language

He was in the air force,

where hugging was considered

a gayable offense.

                         - b.a.b.

    

Kris had to remember the jokes since I bb shot our note taking squirrell and it ran away

"A pregnant lady can drink a vodka and lemonade!  Vodka for mama, lemonade for baby."

                  

                - J.A.N.

I know what I'll be doing this weekend: watching Flubber

"Oh there you are, Peter!"

Some our best lines come from this man.

And so it goes.

Verifying credit card with bank

"They need to know some of your recent transactions."

"Uh, there's Harry Potter symphony tickets.  And kindle version of the Harry Potter books.  Oh man I sound like a dork."

Devil's Causeway

I am under strict orders not to tell Bab what I read about this backpacking trail. I am not to talk about how high or narrow or steep. And I shant. But I do feel it's my duty to mention that should you plummet the 1,000ft drop off the 4ft causeway, you will have plenty of time to shout your final words, so I suggest you start planning accordingly. I'm thinking my parting effigy will be something sweet and simple, like "TJ! I forbid you to remarry!"

If you do  make it across, a change of underwear might be savvy.

The only way to ride and be sure your dress doesn't get snagged - tuck it in.

Where the H are my postcard stamps?!

The second you fine them, Julie and my grandparents are getting postcards.  

posh brunch

Is she hunting rabbits in the forest or

taking her bffl to a super posh brunch,

so posh we could barely figure out 

how to work the bathrooms and almost

started looking for a place to start digging

(some of the best advice we ever got was 

"Never don't be without your poop shovel.")

because am I in the woods or am I

at brunch? 

The yellow lighting was

oddly enhancing of her blue eyes

and counteracted my witchy undertones.

Thanks for the good time, babs :)

anniversary adversary

"Celebrating one year

 of putting up with your bullshit."

                                                  - TJ

The other day I itched my head like one of those confused monkeys.

It's just soda.

"There's only 1 thing that goes in an American flag koozie.
                  And that's Coors Light."

Drive-thru

I'm still not 100% sure why there's pictures of How To Train Your Dragon: 2 drive-in on my phone.  We must have had a reason other than delicious sangria.

I win the race!

It takes TJ  five minutes longer to bicycle ride to work than it takes me! 

Don't consider that his ride is twice as long.

finding nemo

Once upon a time he was a little baby who I could impress with my magnadoodle drawings, and then suddenly he's an almost 3rd grader who corrects me when i mistakenly say a fish looks like a brontosaurus instead of a brachiosaurus. But, he still gives a good hug and screamed and ran when the water splashed us in the flash flood simulator. I followed suit.

Friday!

Get yourself some chunky thighs to love
this weekend. 

what a bunch of Huffpuffs

[A phone conversation]

JAN: Let's wait to put on our robes until right before the concert. Just so we don't look too weird walking around Denver!

MEGAN: Oh yeah, that's what I was thinking too! [ashamed, secretly takes off HP glasses and robes]

It was only because of Megan's bravery

that BAB and I were conviced we should wear these robes!

(Even though B didn't wear her glasses the whole time)

The symphony-goers loved it!

And we sweated our aces off.

And I had to admit to another adult female that

"My mom made these robes."

natural selection

I was recently pondering aloud about a real concern I've been carrying for a while: if I had been born an indian, how would I have survived because without contacts or glasses, I'm pretty much blind. Would I have just sat by the fire, weaving baskets? I surely couldn't hunt buffalo or gather berries. Then TJ informed me that I probably wouldn't have been a choice bride by nature so I would have been left as a lonely old spinster who no one wanted to mate with and by natural selection my gene defect would go extinct.

 So, pretty much if I had been born an indian, my life wouldn't be that much different.

JAN's coworker is stressed at work!

"I told her I would sprinkle more M&Ms into my glass bowl whenever I assign her a ticket so she'll associate a ticket with good things! hah! She said she's not a Pavlovian dog. Coulda fooled me."

Being on the scored goals reel is every keeper's nightmare.

171 Goals Scored: 2014 was a record high number of goals scored in a World Cup, tied with 1998 in France.

"Must be because of global warming."

what I'll be doing under my desk at work for the next few weeks

Omgee.

It feels magical, like I'm reading it 

for the first time.

monkies would make terrible leaders

"How many times have I asked you

if you've seen the original Planet of the Apes? 

When I'm old and losing it, people will be like,

'She's losing her mind, she asks all the time if I've seen Planet of the Apes.' And you'll be like,
 "Nah, she's done that forever.'"
                                                            -bab

Faker

"Reese, your vacation drawings are sooo good that I don't even feel like I need to look at the real photographs!"

"Grandma, I didn't even stand under a palm tree."

viet hoa!

About a year ago, my favorite Asian market closed! 

I was so bummed out because that meant I could no longer

buy all my favorite weird things! 

Then as if a gift from Siam, 

we drove by it in the slums of our neighborhood!

It hadn't closed, just relocated!

The big white girl is back, baby!

And this time I had cred because TJ 

was with me!

A weird flakey wax-paper wrapped cookie?

I'll take a box, thank you!

Yikes.

The frog bucket.

Swampy

"Good luck to us both on our sweaty ass bike rides home!"
      - jan

I want to play for Brazil because you get to select your own name! Granted, you have to live up to it.

#7  Hulk 

My favorite

Tiger Balm? Tiger Balm!

Brazil can be summed up in one phrase - Tiger Balm! We sang a song about it every night, put it on our itchy bites and blisties and bugged the crap out of Andy.

my favorite little E.T.

I bought her that clown doll.

The one thing I swore I would never do to a child!

I don't think this one is scary to her though, because she bit his face upon first inspection.

lunch break entertainment

Poor little nanner jumped off the diving board yesterday and about drowned himself. The lifeguard dove in and fished him out just fine. This was right after all the kids waiting in line behind him had shouted, "Do something cool!"

Expletives at Barnes and Noble

punk kid: "Excuse me, can you pull on this piece of gum?"
jan: "What's it going to do to me?"
  pulls gum
jan: "It zapped me!"
  kids laugh and run away


A few minutes later jan admits the whole truth, "That thing was fucking zappy!"

US v. Germany

Time to dust off the ol' propaganda posters!

Still relevant!

I wonder who Robbie will root for,

what with her Bratwurst heritage

and willingness to assemble?

Yay USA!

TJ & I came up with world cup t-shirts for BAB to wear in Brazil

We thought of them the day after she left.

outdid

"Do you sell iced coffee?"

"No."

"Do you sell coffee?"

"Yes."

"Ok, great. I'll take a cup of coffee with cream, and a cup of ice."

"... That'll be $1.25, sir."

easter bunnies

Judging by her actions last weekend, she's going to dip this bunny in chocolate and devour the entire thing.

You won't even have to double dare her.

Robyn's taking me to the World Cup!

Holy schnikies!  I'll be looking like this the whole time, so watch carefully.

It's easier to just tell people you play soccer so if anyone asks, I'm a full-back.

See ya in a couple weeks, Goooooaaaaallllll!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Days

Happy birthday shout out to my sister Amy.

She's a hell of a good mom to the cutest baby

in the world.

I love her because she has her cake

and sometimes eats it for breakfast, too.

Show me a pottery syllabus and I'll show you a lady who doesn't read a syllabus

weight lifting

a father's advice

"I have 3 primal fears:

Sharks,

Tornadoes,

 and  Bears.

And your mother."

"These are our DRESS sneakers!"

JAN and I will fight for the right to wear dress-up sneakers and so will Ellen.

Which is probably why assumptions are sometimes made.

Happy Friday!

Here's to a good weekend of 

peeing in pools with your 

favorite peeps.

"He wanted sugar wadder." - lady from M.I.B.

Oh gross.We've got an infestation.

Un-Happiest Place on Earth: the highway going past this exit

Can you believe we just drove on by?

There are very few people I would let torture me

like this, so my hubsband should feel honored

I only asked, "Are you SURE you dont want to go? 

Mickey lets us stay until midnight!

I'll buy you a churro!" about 5x.

Give or take.

It felt so un-American.

Reason #804 why JAN's my BFFL

She saved the Reese's candies from her Easter basket for me and I get to eat one every time I go over to her house!  

I'm sensitive, alright?

Don't tease me about the bundles of "change holders" I'm going to end up with because of my crappy pottery skills.  It hits a nerve I can't recover from.