throw that cork away

BAB was proud, JAN offended, when Tiny

called us Tanks (in reference to our drinking abilities). Then we went and proved her point by drinking all the wine that was intended to have leftovers for snowshoeing the next day.

Squirrel Gingienacht

Hooch searched the wreckage. There were no survivors.

frozen fractals all around

After 10 minutes of cursing and slipping around on the driveway,  I was able to chip this 2x3" porthole in the icy layer covering my car along with the rest of this forsaken tundra.Then I said eff it, and drove to work. According to reports, BAB didn't fare much better.

It would have been nice to know

it was going to rain then snow,

Kathy Sabine of 9news.

picking up good vibrations

Most lunchtime walks involve me listening to a great story being told on a podcast, alone on the path, having a minute where I feel so in love with this life that I get choked up and quiver-lipped. All that, too, happened on this day. And then a beach ball rolled right across the path in front of me, like a mardi gras tumbleweed, scaring the crap out of me, no one around, and making me stop in my tracks to ponder what just happened.

Not sure it counts

Remember our version of a flash mob?  Everyone shows up and poops at the same time.  

In the moment, it was hilarious; borderline groundbreaking. Still makes me laugh pretty good.

don't tell

I spilled a little dabble of wine on the couch pillows and let Hooch jump up on me to be petted.

And then a cancer commercial made me cry.

Harpies

JAN and I are afraid to talk on the phone after more than a week apart (which included Christmas!) lest we talk for 2 days straight.

lolz

cryballs

"Does she die?!"
"Pssh. It isn't called Mother, TJ."

Jay! We're glad you like your mug.

We like it too.

 Fun fact, that little puppy holds more than 1 can of beer!  We had to do a surprisingly tasty blend of Coor's Light and Dale's Pale Ale.

Winter Solstice: Come on, celebrate!

If I were in the show Northern Exposure, I would be Walt, who gets addicted to the light visor in the dark winter days to stave off depression.

It's been rough, dare I say terrible but we made it!  Longer days here we come.  

for Toni

Melts the ice cube 

right out of your chest,

don't it?

shake your head as you say it in a sad voice

Lolz, everytime.

Safe at last

Look who I found again? My herd. They seemed healthy and happy eating the golf course greens.

"I have a rapists wit." - Bill Cosby

Oh God, I wonder what happened to Jimmy Fallon, that he's too afraid to tell us? 

He probably just thought it was gonna be a standard slumber party in robes, like he gets to have with the Roots.

any more brain busters for me?

It should come as no surprise to you that the game I most eagerly anticipate on Lumosity is the one where you collect things from the tidal shore. It's like those dreams I have where I find a penny on the ground and start digging and there's a bunch of buried coins:

my favorite!!!

Science is hard

Sometimes you can't think of anything funny because you autoclaved weak plastic bins that melted and sealed in 500 glass tubes.  You had to take out the entire wire shelf to pry the solidified plastic off that had molded around the metal bits.

It was oddly beautiful and scary.

Hold on to your butts.

I look like this:

because of this:

Please, Lord, let the c.g. dinos hold up to the originals.

(unlikely)

The following is a true event. Names and details have not been change to protect the idiot boy

"I found the perfect spot! The chips fit perfectly."

"For real TJ? No they don't."

A little girl's wish is fulfilled

JAN finally got her doll-loving self to the American Girl Doll store on Magnificent Mile.

And we basked in its glory for hours.

Improper? Whatever

Poppa said the postcard I sent them from Brazil was "interesting."  And here I thought I sent them one that you would expect to get from yonder country.

Sleepy tales of Chicago

"We were so tired from Amish Country last night, we didn't even talk and laugh a bunch before falling asleep."

please let this never be real life

This morning, I woke up, ashamed of myself, from a dream where I was a total creeper.  

Someone had to ask me to stop sitting on people's laps and find a chair of my own :( 

Friday thank you

I'd like to take this minute to publicly thank my bffl BAB for not being into any of those mini-vendor parties women guilt other women into attending.  Thank you for not making me feel obligated to sit in your living room with ladies where i have to pretend to like the hooker-effect of Mary Kay makeup or the 'I would have totally dug this when I was 5' jamberry nails or makes my nose tingle and temples throb scensy candles or this is not original in anyway I've seen my grandma wear it grandma jewelry!

The only party B likes to throw is bust open a box of wine and watch Superbad on repeat. RSVP for one, please!

Thursday Peptalk

This man, Faried (not pronounced Fah-ryed),

just turned 25. And even though he's getting

the shit stuffed out his nose, he is also

getting paid more in one year than you will
your entire life.

He just turned 25.

Makes you regret not being born 

a small black boy in the projects,

doesn't it?

Announcement hurled upon deaf ears

"Forget what you never even listened to!" 

jan finds love on vacation

bums

I can't imagine being homeless in Chicago,

it's too cold there! But I guess it would be

hard to make your way to Mexico if

your brain doesn't work very well.
                 - bab

You tell me

how to play the game Guess the alphabet letter with your tongue and not look like a perv.

calm feelings

He lulls me into sleep, 

crunching on bamboo,

 humming old Chinese commercial jingles

which just sound beautiful to me

because I don't know the translation.

It's been a no nonsense campaign so far

"Sending babies to prison?"  


how could you vote for someone who supports that? although, holy smokes, that prison baby is hilarious.

"I'm glad you are here with me. Here at the end of all things, Sam."

That's Frodo speaking.  And that line can make our eyes water all by itself.

They're just tears!

hot springs

"This feels like Europe."

"Because we're playing games in a weird place

and eating a bunch of weird snacks?" 

"Yep."

Group vote

Without my consent it's been declared that I am a baby a.k.a the weakling of the group.  Just because I made TJ carry my backpack across that land bridge and cried, got glass in my finger during stained glass class, and was pukey that one time we were moving on the hottest day of the year.

jan also pointed out I'm tone deaf.

great advice. hurts every time.

it was jan's bday 2 days ago

Here's to another year of honing your pool floating skills.

the monkey's his uncle

Get us enough wine by a campfire and find a proper primate walking stick, and Bab and Jan

do a pretty supreme Rafiki imitation.

old school

"He's probably inside looking at dirty magazines... 

Do they even have dirty magazines anymore?"

"Nah, it's all online now, dad."

shakey graves comforts

The world lost a good man yesterday,

a definite piece to TJ's honest soul.

Yet while we cry the sun keeps shining

and is oh so warm.

Smell those shrimp, they're beginnin to boil.

You WILL respect this movie!

"What if, throughout the whole movie he kept getting his hair out of way."

"Like this" shaking head side to side in big swoops

"Or brushing it aside with his pinkie."

Then we wheezed and disrespected the movie we had just told TJ he had to like.

kitty's gonna shake shake shake shake shake

Announcement:

Taylor Swift got a cat.

Happy Friday.

scallop collecting dream

"It combines my wife's

two favorite things:

snorkeling and treasure hunting."

                                    - TJ

scout leader

"I'm texting Robbie's boyfriend about camping this weekend."
"Whatcha gonna tell him? Bring two feathers and 5 oz. elk urine?"
"Don't give them pointy sticks after that much wine."

Grimey

It's a worm that flew up onto my bike pedal in the rain at some point and dried out to die.  sick

what's the bfd?

Hey Jeffco Public Schools, why so glum? Who cares if the school board is sanctioning censorship in the name of patriotism? What's so wrong about that? I mean North Korea has been doing it for years, and look how happy those people are!

good for hemroids

"Abe would be proud. That thing has got to be a beast."
"I like that it dares to claim it's 'comfortable.'"
"Who'da thought, we only had to crane it in."
"Welp, I guess we'll put it in the basement. Since it fell through the floorboards."

"Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!"

Give us a lot of whiskey 

and a scerry movie about monkies

and this is what - exactly what - Jan and Bab turn in to: