JAN practicing to be a mom.

Making ham sandwiches for 6 people.

She's going to be so great!

Find the drunky

Believe it or not, this night

ended a little rough for poor Beebs.

I feel guilty only because I was DD &

let her fly as high as she felt she could go.

In the end,

the evidence of our combined failures

was eaten by a dog.

The best stockings

One of a kind &

they hang above my fireplace &

I am always so sad when 

I have to take them down

in February.

Kaiser

Sorry folks, but I must always be in the safest seat in the car, most fire-escapable spot in the room, eat the freshest food in the fridge, and ride only the most maintained of rollercoasters because I'm on the bronze plan.

That's a $5,500 deductible and absolutely no name-brand drugs.

The Shallows

"This movie took a whole day to film."

The Last Unicorn

I cried infront of my boss yesterday.

Right as he was telling me he was  pleased with how I handled a situation with a crazy coworker. "I am proud how you composed your thoughts & argument. Three years ago you would have been in my office crying."

Whelp! At least I wiped my snot on my own sleeve.

December 1

Fear not, for behold! I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

It's Christmastime & I can barely

contain my excitement, oh em gee!!

Oh, Mittens, how could you? And for what, a plate of scallops?

That's the face every woman knows well... the face you make after you've allowed a man to put a dick in your mouth for the first time.

Nice, Mitt. Get used to ashamedly crawling under tables while your food gets cold.

A hole.

TJ: I saw this, this weekend live on the youtubes. Heh.

Julie: Is this what you were doing when I was helping your grandmother change her diaper?

TJ: 

It's become important to establish independence

but then you get slapped with a case of the stomach flu and beg your mom to take care of you all weekend.

there's always hope for next week.

What day is it?

"This Thursday Trump went to the White House and showed us how brave he is by meeting face-to-face with the man who founded ISIS."

We love ourselves an old, fat, white man

Watching the 2016 

Presidential Election results:

America once again declares it wants to grab the pussy, not take orders from it.

How did it happen? The problem is we have too good of health care & we are letting the old people live too long! I don't know that we don't deserve it straight in the butthole. Stupid is excusable. Ignorance is a choice. 

I shared a friendly "What. The. Fuck. just happened?" with my neighbor this morning... then started absentmindedly humming Lunchlady Land... I feel very sad, very worried about this country and what we are capable of. I feel chilled to understand a little better how a thing like the rise of a nazi-nation could happen.

But! Even when you suck, America, you're still home. And this is no excuse to quit trying to be good & right & just & brave.

Let's build the wall!

What side will you be on?

Woke up in the morning, 

put on my new plastic gloves.

Served some reheated salisbury steak,

with a little slice of love.

Got no clue what the chicken pot pie 

is made of...

Just know everything's 

doin' fine

down here in...

Lunch Lady laaand.

ég sakna þín

BAB and Tiny tagging along on JAN and TJ's Iceland trip. 

Missing JAN.  3 small glasses of wine in mah belly.

Circus Circus

Just a girl and her Yorkie.  True love.

Treebeard? Is that you?

"You know it.  I moved to CO."

Vote! Vote! Vote!

I friggin felt like Paul Revere today as I jogged the mile down the street to the municiple building, ballot in hand, with a giant flag waving at the end of the street from the cemetery. The sun was shining and I felt pretty happy to be a sweaty American gal.

You better believe I voted for the raisins ♡

5 years olds can really cut the tension in a rough situation

Thank goodness for that!
Mam-ma's getting radioactive liver beads tomorrow.  Let them work.

The Guru

"Oprah says when someone tells you who they are, you listen." 

Fine, I'll try a little harder to respect your truth.

Thirty Flirty Friday

When you turn 30

& you can read through

your b-day texts

& get to laugh all day

& feel all loved & happy
you found the right people,

well, 

I guess you're doing your

time on earth 

justice.

Now, go ahead

& buy yourself that pair

of Birkenstocks because

you old enough, 

girlfriend.

Happy Friday!

(& birthday)

On this beauty of a Birthday, I hope this is how you feel, Jansie!

Lil'Bobby drops a deuce

Let's build the wall & take it up along the northern border of AZ

[Half a bottle into Kirkland Signature wine.

Which, by the way, tastes like it should turn your lips & teeth a deep drunken purple, but it doesn't!]

"Obama is the worst President ever. People are tired and want change! He never should have been a politician. He doesn't have any political experience. Sure, the ladies think he's good looking if that matters to a person, but not to me ..."

"Of course it does, Grandpa! I like to know I want to be groped by the President, not that I unwillingly have to be."

He wuvs ham.

Hilarities at work

HA!

The after-effects

"I'm just going to say this and leave it at that.  At least with Chipotle, you usually know fast."  

Lil'Bobby Fashion Diva

It's the little things that prove you are M.F.E.O.

J: How is there not a waffle emoji?

TJ: Ya, no kidding!

"Enjoy yourself, folks." - The Donald, chattin' about nuclear warfare

Do yourself - and the world - a favor,

watch this:

https://youtu.be/h1Lfd1aB9YI

Heart of gold

Bob loved that candid likeness

you carved for him!

 

I was afraid to ask. Because I really like you.

It is a siiigh of relief when your friends tell you they are voting for The Woman.

Pocket Mantra: YOU ARE NOT FIRED

Abbi Jacobson wrote a book

& even just the amazon preview

 is making me lolz.

Guess who carries this crap

in his suit pockets?

Answer: DJ Trump & yes, the Broad City dvds

would make a wonderful birthday gift for me

Mondy

"What's up? My name is Abbi.

I'm gonna be your trainer today.

This is a joke shirt."

Friday ♡

Last night I slept (if you can call it that) in a bed alone & left my mouth open & somewhere in the night every drop of moisture evaporated from my tongue. It was unpleasant to overcome & has started my day off weird. I say all this only to tell you how happy I am that tonight is crafting & guiness/pumpkick & slumber party night.

This weekend I hope you

fall asleep

mid-story 

with your head on a pillow

& your BFFL by your side.

And if your mouth should dare to

fall open, may someone 

gently shut your trap.

Happy Friday.

"I wish Corbin was here!"

His Grandma is always looking out for cool bugs for that guy.

Merry Christmas ladies!

And Kevin, because he thought the movie had a pretty good plot.

Sorry for the glare

This is a picture of Uncle circa 1977.  He rocked a natural red afro (no perm needed) and the ball cap is pure fashion.  

He's also known as one of JAN's many boyfriends.

Classic

That lump is Tiny napping at book club.  

In her defense we DID start drinking 4 different kinds of sangria at noon. 

The best thing I've done at work all week.

We're pretty clear what you stand for.

Best funny sister

Pokémon GO