if you want to feel pretty, go to the fireworks stand on mulberry

You should have seen us picking these out. 3 for a Dollar sounds great, and it is. After asking lots of questions and receiving half-hearted answers, these bad boys are the ones we settled on. We asked the guardian of the shack if they sold real fireworks and he seemed slightly offended. He had shifty eyes and started sweating profusely after B told him to "Be cool, man." He said no. We knew the big ones had to be back there somewhere. We tried different code words, like "cheesewhiz" and "hiroshima" but he didn't (or wouldn't) catch our drifts.

So we left with this boogle: 2 packs of snappers, 1 pack of snakes, 1 disco, 1 laying hen, 1 racing monkey, 12 mini fountains.



The real show went down last night at around 10 pm. Spectacular extravaganza, as it's written in today's papers. Racing monkey broke the soundbarrier. Laying hen was supposed to be the finale, but that shifty-eyed idiot sold us the Rooster packaged in the Hen. When he told us the hen lays eggs and the rooster screams, we looked at him in disgust and said, "We'll take the hen." Imagine our dismay when the fuse reaches the package and it screams at us! No eggs were layed. Only one deafening scream.

Best night ever.