4:00 Excitement level high, real high, around an 8. Or high 7 for some.
4:30 Peeing in river accomplished.
5:00 Happiness level maximum, with shouts of "I feel like Tom Sawyer!" and "I peed in the river again!"
5:15 Spot very first KEEP OUT signs but fail to "keep out." Jeff falls out of tube and loses something. Dignity?
5:45 Reach interlude with the river. Watch d-bags navigate over a dam waterfall reaching approx 4 feet in height. Decide to bail. Bailing fairly unsuccessful. Jeff gets first of scrapes, loses tube and has to swim to get it. Brittany slips on mossy mud-rock and eats it hard. All get stuck in nasty sludge, compiled of black stinky stuff we'd rather not discuss.
6:00 Jeff describes his future date bragging that she speaks spanish. We reply, "That pushes her down a notch."
6:30 Second KEEP OUT sign, larger and more evil spirited than the first. We look for the fabled barbed wire, but see nothing, so we keep in. The worst assumed to be over.
6:40 Jay acquires moses-like staff. Uses it to determine if water is drowning-level. "Yep, it's drownin' level."
6:50 Jeff loses seeds for 300th time.
7:00 Hear thundering noise coming from the giant dam ahead. D-bags no where to be seen. We assume they are lying at the bottom of the dam, crushed and mangled. The fellowship decides to navigate to shore, where there is more sludge that captures Jeff and sucks the very spirit from his being.
7:02 Happiness level at all time low.
7:06 Mosquito bites in every crevice.
7:07 Jay the only one not terrified to jump barbed wire fence.
7:08 Jeff, Brittany, and Julie relieved to see fence ends to the right.
7:09 Fellowship crosses the dam, becoming trespassers. Stare down into our watery graves that lie off the cliff.
7:10 We choose life and stand there, looking ragged and hobo-ish.
7:11 Mean old man approaches. Does not forgive his trespassers who trespass amongst him. Julie babbles apology.
7:12 Old Man suggests we die by rebar impailment.
7:13 Do not take his suggestion. Start of the long trek through weeds, more mosquitos, and dirt road that leads to God knows where.
7:25 Walk of shame.
7:30 Glorious sighting of poudre up ahead. No longer lost. Still very downtrodden.
7:31 "Julie your heel is bleeding." "I know."
7:35 See d-bags have also made it here safely. Crawl back into Poudre.
7:40 Float infront of mexican fishermen catching their dinner.
7:45 Little to no communication within the fellowship. Jeff continues to be battered by the Poudre.
8:00 Find path to car. Start crying. Run to car. Cry some more.
8:02 Depression complete. We really took it in the poudre.
8:03 Head home to get wasted until we can no longer feel our rashes.
2:00 Go to sleep, itchy, tired, rashy, but happy we have good buddies who let us torture them.
4:30 Peeing in river accomplished.
5:00 Happiness level maximum, with shouts of "I feel like Tom Sawyer!" and "I peed in the river again!"
5:15 Spot very first KEEP OUT signs but fail to "keep out." Jeff falls out of tube and loses something. Dignity?
5:20 Brittany gets bludgeoned by tree branches for a good half mile. Happiness slightly lowered.
5:30 Our powers combine to form a fellowship of the tubes as big d-bags race by us drinking a single bottled beer each.5:45 Reach interlude with the river. Watch d-bags navigate over a dam waterfall reaching approx 4 feet in height. Decide to bail. Bailing fairly unsuccessful. Jeff gets first of scrapes, loses tube and has to swim to get it. Brittany slips on mossy mud-rock and eats it hard. All get stuck in nasty sludge, compiled of black stinky stuff we'd rather not discuss.
6:00 Jeff describes his future date bragging that she speaks spanish. We reply, "That pushes her down a notch."
6:30 Second KEEP OUT sign, larger and more evil spirited than the first. We look for the fabled barbed wire, but see nothing, so we keep in. The worst assumed to be over.
6:40 Jay acquires moses-like staff. Uses it to determine if water is drowning-level. "Yep, it's drownin' level."
6:50 Jeff loses seeds for 300th time.
7:00 Hear thundering noise coming from the giant dam ahead. D-bags no where to be seen. We assume they are lying at the bottom of the dam, crushed and mangled. The fellowship decides to navigate to shore, where there is more sludge that captures Jeff and sucks the very spirit from his being.
7:02 Happiness level at all time low.
7:04 Covered in poopy sludge. Jeff needs hug.
7:05 Scratchy weeds.7:06 Mosquito bites in every crevice.
7:07 Jay the only one not terrified to jump barbed wire fence.
7:08 Jeff, Brittany, and Julie relieved to see fence ends to the right.
7:09 Fellowship crosses the dam, becoming trespassers. Stare down into our watery graves that lie off the cliff.
7:10 We choose life and stand there, looking ragged and hobo-ish.
7:11 Mean old man approaches. Does not forgive his trespassers who trespass amongst him. Julie babbles apology.
7:12 Old Man suggests we die by rebar impailment.
7:13 Do not take his suggestion. Start of the long trek through weeds, more mosquitos, and dirt road that leads to God knows where.
7:25 Walk of shame.
7:30 Glorious sighting of poudre up ahead. No longer lost. Still very downtrodden.
7:31 "Julie your heel is bleeding." "I know."
7:35 See d-bags have also made it here safely. Crawl back into Poudre.
7:40 Float infront of mexican fishermen catching their dinner.
7:45 Little to no communication within the fellowship. Jeff continues to be battered by the Poudre.
8:00 Find path to car. Start crying. Run to car. Cry some more.
8:02 Depression complete. We really took it in the poudre.
8:03 Head home to get wasted until we can no longer feel our rashes.
2:00 Go to sleep, itchy, tired, rashy, but happy we have good buddies who let us torture them.
3 comments:
The old man part made me lol. And try 3:30 am for the bed time.
PS: Best. Post. Ever.
I wonder if that old man looks down the dam to see if the rebar caught anyone
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