Currently, I rank the Nuggs as follows:
Nene: my favorite. Why? Because he’s the fattest on the team, weighing in at 250 pounds. You have to respect that.
Melo: like a little 6'8" baby. precious.
Camby: never heard of him, never want to.
JR: secret weapon of mass destruction
Chris Anderson: Babe.
AI: old weapon. his rows look better than melo’s. But armband shows a sign of weakness.
Kmart: should not affiliate himself with a poor-man’s walmart.
Kleiza: didn’t play for America, shouldn’t play IN America.
My ideas for this season...
Take a page from the Rockies’ playbook: do really really good this season. Make it to the final round. After this, never have to worry about doing good ever again because people have a general appreciation for 2nd place.
Enough with this “dribbling” crap. What a waste of time. Flying is the answer. Mark my words.
Also, I’d like to bring up the most under-appreciated of shots: Half court. Think of the time and energy this would save. We wouldn’t even need to play offense, so that takes care of half our problem. As for defense... maybe we could start laying down on the ground, creating a landmine of live bodies. Try scoring when you have Camby under you.
Carmelo’s rows should have secret play and/or obscenities braided into them.
Flubber. We all saw the movie.
What is it that Coach Karl is always sucking on? My guess is watermelon jolly rancher.
John Elway’s return to basketball will be the greatest gift in NBA history.
Ice cream social at half-time.
Instead of mouth guards, have those fake vampire teeth.
Team members should have to memorize at least three John Denver songs to prove loyalty to state.
Bring back the short shorts – less chaffing (if I’m understanding the issue correctly).
Unofficial mascot? Steve Hess.
Melo should be allowed to wear his Olympic gold medal during gametime. Not only for bragging rights and intimidation, but also simply because it looks pretty.
All games to be played shirts/skins. This rule should have been implemented long, long ago. Why I’m the first to write an official proposal is beyond me.
Throw gold nuggets into the crowd, but make sure the majority gets to the top seats because that’s where the drunk, poor guys sit (yours truly).
Pre-game tickle fights.
Most importantly, box out and get more hands into the cookie jar. [end]
UPDATE: I like to think the nugget's winning record is due to my suggestions. Also, it should be noted that melo shaved his rows and is even more precious. and AI is dead to us - welcome home, chauncy.
Remember sinbad? what a chump.
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