"I'm scared to death." "We all are, Jeff Daniels - but our brains secrete a neurotransmitter that enables us to deal with them."

Today I was told that spiders are not "Gross" (as I had just declared them to be upon encountering one outdoors) - they are "Good." Whatever. Tell that to any child who grew up in the 90s and saw Arachnophobia at the tender age of 6 and 1/2, and you will most assuredly witness a slight look of terror and convulsion as we have flashbacks to the many nights we laid suffocating in bed with the covers over our faces, knowing hundreds, millions, of arachnids were crawling on top of us, trying to find a way in. Everyone remembers that scene when the man and wife are eating a bowl of popcorn and then the spider EATS THEIR BRAINS. Good, my ass.

We are victims; spiders and parents who don't censor what films their children are watching are the villains.