Whilst you was asleep

This Christmas eve, I will come to the family gathering armed with a whacking-device. Preferably a wooden bat. The crowbar seems like it would do too much damage, and damage is not what I'm in for. Because my sister is likely not recieving a ring this Christmas, I have devised a plan to knock out the idiot. He will slip into a coma for a day or three, and when he comes to, we will all congratulate him on the engagement. When he says he doesn't remember ever getting on one knee, I'll gently tell him he has lacunar amnesia. If he asks if I got this idea from that Sandra Bullock movie, I'll gently whack him again. Maybe with the crowbar.