N.C.

this is the first time in a long time we've gotten to hang out with eachother for more than a brief 4-8 hr. interval. we're trying to soak it up. so many naps to be taken. so many bugbites to be scratched. no time to blog.

this is us doing the boot-scoot boogie.

They're Gettin' Hitched at 4 pm!!

It's going to be a good good day.

:)

Hey Prof. That test was WHOOA.

 I like my soil microbiology teacher because she has braces and says "Crudola!" when she drops the laser pointer.

you know you wouldn't have guessed "a" either.

and you're exactly the type of person we want reading this fine blog.
you nagger, you.

hi, phil :)

Scene: THE SHOOTING RANGE.

[tj has his back turned to us]

"Wouldn't it be hilarious if we shot TJ right now?"

"Yeah! Right between his separated collarbone-"

"Right in the heart. The funniest place to shoot a person."

Sorry, earth. but eff you. I need a slight crinkle and no more! I simply can't be bothered.

If i hear one more person complain about how loud the new 100% compostable sunchips bags are, i think i'll lose it. And by "lose it" I mean i'll take my booted foot and hold them down and make them sniff it and force them to say "i like crêpes" and appologize to earth for not being a very good steward.

oh, herro.

Someday this little boy will grow up and consume a $9.99 box of 50 mcnuggets.




i will witness it. i will even try to nay-say it. but whenst the deed is done, i will feel proud to know him & shame for not seeing the glory of the quest from the very first this-looks-like-a-dead-baby's-foot nugget.

the squeakquell

we take it for granted

but 

chipmunks are not widely distributed.

Tough Streak

Corbin told Reese there were bad guys outside to which she promptly replied, "Go out there and shoot them!"

And this was after she told me and my mom that her dad didn't like us.

   I had been wondering about that.

Smell ya later, Winter Park.

Yesterday was my last day of work! I got my evaluation.

I only recieved 5/6 for "Grooming Standards."

And 3/6 for "Safe Play."

So I guess you could say I accomplished what I set out to do.

And I'm a much stronger person for it today.
Except for my right leg. Which is severely atrophied.

"Pooping in the wilderness is hard because during those few moments, you are so vulnerable and I'm not willing to let my guard down like that."

I survived 2 nights camping in the woods. There's nothing like camping to make you appreciate living in a trailer, because although you can poop anywhere you want in the woods, you don't have to squat to pee in a trailer (which is difficult even when you aren't wearing a walking cast). I'm glad I didn't get shot; hunting season has opened. There were a lot of moving shrubs with orange hats. I'm also glad I wasn't to be talked out of wearing my favorite pj's. I still don't see what was so dangerous about wearing them, unless being oh-so snuggly and warm is a crime.

Nerd Talk

Every time Julie and I watch Maverick, or read a book by Mark Twain, we have to talk about how dangerous steamboats were.  

Those things caught fire all the time.  And parts of the river were so shallow, navigators really had to know those waters.  I believe JAN's exact words were, "Death traps."

remember this

I just had a terrible thought

what if it mattered which sock went on which foot?

that's a world i don't want to live in.

Make the same face as Oliver, Dad.

"My dad gave a hobo what he thought was a quarter. It turned out to be a nickel. Then the hobo got all huffy and my dad got mad and said, 'If you don't want it, give it back!' And then he gave it back! Pray for my dad; he'll probably have to fight the bums someday. He doesn't have hobo-stab insurance."

"I said a prayer for your dad. But I'm pretty sure
it just made Jesus laugh a little."

cirque du suck

One Saturday, while working the putt-putt shack, I watched the circus people strutting around on stilts; each had a smaller child physcially attached to them with a length of string. As I stared, people came up to pet the little horse and rhino, and shake the puppet's hand. And I made a note my future self, that should I ever need a severe yet legal punishment for my offspring - this is it. Public humilation in the form of face paint and bondage.

That sure was one melancholy fellowship of rhino, horse, and puppet.

Thet's noht ah knoife!

"Did you pack the knives?"
"Yep."
"Are they in your trunk?"
"Uh, no."
"But what if you get in an accident?!"


[Silence as we each think of the horrible possibilities]

Well Done, sir!

A difference between Europe and the U.S. is that Europeans applaud the pilot when he safely lands the plane.

JAN and I whispered to each other, "Isn't that kinda their job?"

But landing in the U.S. is just so boring now.

helpless

It was when my mother was pushing me in a wheelchair around the zoo, speeding uncontrollably down hills, small children having to dive out of the way, me staring back at them and mouthing "Help!" that I gained a greater compassion for Rerun VanPelt.

Poor bastard.

stalwart ram team :)

Fall 2006. This was before we were best friends and all I really knew about BAB was that she made me laugh harder than anyone I ever met in my whole life.

CSU, even if you lose today, we still love you. You gave us some really really really good years.

Also, don't lose.

they call me the sober stoner.

I broke my leg at work and in order to get it comp'ed, I had to pass a drug test. And I might have been a little offended when everyone was super worried and kept tilting their heads towards me and widening their eyes when they warned me, "It's a real drug test. You have to pee in a cup. You have to pass it." and sounding so surprised when I said I could and did, if I hadn't been getting that my whole adult life. Meaning, the point 3 years ago when I quit brushing my hair. Apparently when you have a carefree attitude and a nappy head, people assume you smoke a lot of weed. And they won't be convinced otherwise.

(I'm just too lazy to care, people.)

Stand-Off

Last night whilst I cooked dinner I saw something scurry past my foot and under the stove.  Then after din, I was putting away dishes and that same effer ran behind the trash and wouldn't you know, it's a giant wolf spider.  We stood and stared at each other for a couple minutes, each flinching every few seconds and then I ran upstairs.

But I tell you, the minute it comes flying out of the pantry at my face I will have a heart attack and promptly die.

Keepin' it real with B.A.B.

"Remember how we're still getting flack for slavery,

while everyone's already forgiven the Germans?"