if you don't know me by now, you will never never never never never kno-oh me.

I have a birthmark on my leg. It's one of my many specialties. It's a cluster of blood vessels close to the surface and when you press it, it disappears for a few seconds. It was this trick that got me many friends in my early years and a boyfriend in my later years ("Hi. I'm Julie. Press my birthmark. Come, now; don't be shy.").

I went to the doctor's recently and she saw the mark on my leg, looked appalled and said, "Uh, what is that?" I explained, "Oh, it's always been there." She looked very relieved and said, "Good. I thought you had shingles!"

Nope. It's just my hickey from God.