Why was I highly suspect when you brought me the opened gatorade?

Because I saw that 20/20 murder mystery about the one guy who was slowly but surely poisoning his wife. And how did he do it? By convincing her she was feeling so shitty because her electrolytes were low, so of course she should drink another refreshing gatorade laced with antifreeze. Little known fact: antifreeze has a sweet flavor. So if it was in your blue gatorade, you'd never really know until your neighbors found you eating pebbles from the gutter, as a result of brain erosion.

I wonder how many women these guys plan on killing.

Ah, yes.
Ninety.