Every time someone brags about how they just bought an old record for $20, I tell them how my sister once put our Fraggle Rock vinyl on top of the lamp to keep it out of my other sister's reach but then the heat of the incandescent bulb melted the plastic and what ensued was family crisis '88 and lots of crying. Mostly to prove the point that records are lame and if you're spending $20 on an old warpy album then they heard you comin' in your tight hipster pants a mile away. "Swish vrrr. Swish vrrr. Swish vrrr." - your pants
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