And the horse you rode in on.

Remember that part in Pretty Woman where she is flossing the strawberry seeds out of her teeth and wants a little privacy in the bathroom but he comes in, poised for a nipple tweak and thinks she is hiding drugs? And then he is all, "No way girlfriend! No drugs in this house!" like some sort of volunteer morality police. And then 15 years later you have the brain power to analyze and you're all like, "He was paying that woman to have sex with him... and ends up being the hero... even though she had never seen that episode of I Love Lucy but instead of letting her just watch it, he makes her give him a b.j.!" (Which, even when you were 13, you thought was super rude). And then you have to consciously unfurrow your brow.

And not think about how you wish you were rewatching it on the couch with your mom.