2.26.2016

Friday!

I hope this weekend
you are the voice
of reason
that reminds
your BFFL
2 coors
ain't gonna be 
enough.
Not ever.
And then you 
snowshoe 
into the remote
valley, taking
turns to pee &
stand guard
for inevitable
mountain lion attacks.

Happy Friday!!

2.24.2016

Wednesday happy thoughts

A sigh, courtesy of
 that darling, Drew Barrymore:

2.23.2016

Start with eyeliner

Secret Possible Fact: Security guards at the underground RTD bus station spend their free time giving homeless people makeovers!!!

They're certainly not covering for the ticket counter folks on Sundays.

2.22.2016

Suffrage always sounds so depressing

We were a little pissed at all the fembots who keep pushing for roles in military combat and have caused the dudes to retort that if women want to play war so bad, then make us all sign up for the draft. Equality in yo' face, bitchez. But then we remembered how easily women would end wars because we'd just put fake boobs on all the drones. Then the rebel forces would be captivated, because BOOBIES, and only a small part of their brains would wonder why there is just a pair of boobs floating in the sky, but a bigger, gruntier part of their brain would simply want to stand up and move in closer because they want to make sure what they've heard is true: not all nipples look alike. But before they can figure it out, they have been shot by the nipple-guns that are shielded by the self-awareness of woman and the transparency of man.

So I guess what we're saying is
sign us up, bro.

2.19.2016

Viernes!

Yo quiero the weekend.
Mucho.
Gusto.

Feliz Viernes, esé!

2.17.2016

Victorious

Sometimes when a rockslide explodes the main mountain highway not 10 minutes before you get there & you end up having to drive 7 hours & hundreds of miles around & extra, you just lean back & watch the snowy fields roll past & thank yourself for chosing to live in Colorado. You also thank your friend named Kris for taking the last minute post-Chinese-food bathroom break that may have made the difference between being stuck behind a giant rock vs. stuck under it.
That's what you do.


2.10.2016

Superbowl L: when BAB & JAN got sssh'd by Aunt Janice for being old biddys commenting from the buffet

"I gotta say, this seems a little too raunchy and inappropriate."
"Why? Because there's a Yellow Brick Road leading directly to her vagina?"

2.08.2016

Superbowl L: when things got political

"That is NOT the ideologic state of our country these days."
"Oh Bab, pipe down and have another beer."

Stock Show

10 year old who is better at art than Bab Ross.

Superbowl L

Evidence suggests Peyton mostly partied last night down by the river and under park benches and on curbs near the homeless shelters.


Yay Donkies! We wondered if knew you could do it!! We love you. 

2.06.2016

Sometimes you just have to be the boss of dancing.

JAN broke her hamstring doing some too-fancy moves at zumba.  Then she almost peed her pants telling me about it :)

"Harry Belafonte is a handsome man." - Mom

UH. HUH.

Back when things were simpler? Nay way!

My brand new part-time job is going through old law files.  It's a treasure trove of new clippings and cases which highlight the cultures America wasn't too cool with since the 1950's.
Here's a terrible example:  Not ok with communists but cool enough with these other crazies.  This is just after the end of WWII!  Creepy.

2.05.2016

TGIWTF

What's  that you say?
You don't like grapefruit?
Well, let me change your
mind with these simple steps:
1. Buy a grapefruit, 
or be given one by a friend.
Peel fruit skin like an orange.
2. Unlike an orange, 
peel fruit a second time.
Dual peelage is most 
imperative.
3. Fruit should now
be a brilliant shiney
reddish pink wobbly.
4. Peel off the 
juicepods in hunks.

5. Pretend you are a mermaid
eating raw fish.
(Just like when you were 
a little girl.)

Aaaand, now you love 
grapefruit.

Happy Friday.




2.04.2016

I should have majored in Marketing


My advertisement for our friend's
knifemaking biznat.

Check it: www.wheelerknifeworks.com

2.03.2016

The cutest thing in the petting zoo

was the minature cowboy.


His mom totally saw me take this picture. My only regret is this doesnt show his minature red leather boots.