I can't believe we'll have to watch one more of these terrible things.

"This question goes to you, Mittens."

So move to Burma

People who brag about not voting are really inspiring.

Wait... that's not the right word. I meant "big jags."

That's a fast cat!

Tonight we saw a black fox run across the road!

It was either a very good omen.
Or a very terrible omen.

Oh men.

Sonic the Hedgehog

I knew it! Thanks to no one, because you all looked at me like I was taking crazy pills when I recalled, "Didn't Sonic the Hedgehog love chili-dogs?" Well, HE DID. And for good reason; chili-dogs are awesome.

Tiger Butt

"If I got a tattoo, I'd just have all my stretch marks outlined."

                                                                        - J.A.N.

Growing Up

It's a sign of maturity when you no longer want I do (Cherish You) by 98 Degrees to be your wedding song.

Gerda Weissman Klein was a Holocaust survivor who was deported from Germany as a teenager and then later married the US Army officer who led the troops that rescued her.

After a week of praying, or wishing, or simply hoping, a lot of us started this weekend with heartache. It is hard to face an evil that is in your backyard. There is darkness you will never comprehend. And maybe you aren't meant to comprehend it. because that would mean a part of you could hold on to it long enough for your eyes to adjust to the void, begin to make out shapes from the shadows. But, it is hard to know it still exists. I suppose it would be easy to say the world is an evil place and proceed to seal your heart from it. But then you also block all the good as well. So, we will just have to be a little more gentle with each other, a little more careful, knowing we're all walking around with exposed hearts, daring the world to be better than it is today. There are raspberries to be found.

gogurts are delicious.

You don't  open yogurts with the lid at your open mouth so the inevitable pressurized glob of yogi flies directly in there?

Hmm.

Gob

Easy to remember if you say, "Shirley Temple Grandin"

Adorable-ness is listening to your parents tell you about the PBS program they watched about Temple Grandin, the CSU animal sciences professor who has autism.  She's lucky she found a way to use her mind so effectively. Her mother admitted it wasn't easy for anyone in the family.  

You're not shocked to watch your mom's eyes tear up but are  quite surprised to see dad all misty eyed too!

A Sunday in the park.

On Sunday at the park, we found:

1) Poop on the bottom of TJ's shoe
2) An unattached squirrel paw
3) A buckeye

Oh man. It was a pretty good day at the park. 

The Taco Bell Hotel

Where you can get a room, tacos, and a little weed.

"There'd never be a reason to leave!"
                        - coworker

A country boy said it first

Always good for a laugh:

Peyton Mayonnaise.

Here's a picture of my mom

to start your weekend off happy.

 

Oh man. Such a little hippie.

One thing Pop-pa and I can agree on:

Hummus is REAL good.

This question is to you, Mitt.

"When you're President, are you going to ride your bike around all day and annoy people?"

Heavenly underwear for all!!

2 Quick Things

1. I will never master the art of drinking and walking.

2. I will never stop trying.

I have accrued 8 hours of vacay

Dude at work did not let me live vicariously through his vacation days. If you respond with "Good" and "Nothing" to the questions "How was your week in HAWAII?" and "What did you do!?" then you shouldn't be allowed to leave work.

Thousand Island?

My birthday is coming up in the next few weeks and I've had to be quick on my toes about what I want for my special day. So far I've asked for a salad spinner and a chiminea. But what I really want, what I've wanted ever since 1993, is that dinner Mrs Doubtfire secretly orders. I don't know what that orangy pink sauce is, but go on and smother it on my green noodles and baby carrots!

Luchalibre

Uh, I'm pretty sure one of these 3 latino yetis just yelled something at me when I was riding my bike home from work. I can't be sure what he said, but judging by the gutteral tone and buggedout eyes, he definitely wanted to pull out my hairs.

Squaw gettum firewood.

I bought some moccasins this weekend. And last night I was gathering firewood. I'm just a feather in my hair away from this:

"Climb up there so mommy can take your picture!"

These guys have been burning the crap out of the thighs of every kid in Colorado since the 1970s. A sort of "eff you" from the Pioneers, afterall.   

Refresco

Goya gives me joya.

It's as good

as he makes it look.

And you guessed right - it's mayonnaise.

The uninvited guest

I think we all learned a little lesson tonight about choosing to have your birthday at a park in the city. It is hard to make a wish when the flame you're blowing out is the bag of trash the bum lit on fire.

Leonardo

I love that the question "What are you going to be for Halloween?" is now the easiest question to answer. I'm excited for Halloween at work because I'll get to ditch my forsaken non-stretchy pants and wear the most comfortable outfit in the world. Oh cowabunga, baby. Gimme that built-in back support! One time last winter I wore this outfit for two weeks straight, no kidding. And when I finally put on some real clothes, TJ kept saying how great I looked. And I felt a little guilty that the only reason I wasn't wearing the pilly green outfit was because I decided it needed a run through the washer.

Bad Dreams

The sucky thing about no longer having reoccurring teaching nightmares is that now my brain has room to just have crazy, crazy dreams. It has been on hiatus for over 2 years, but it's back. And the worst dream I've had? An evil wizard was trying to get a secret out of me, and I threatened him,"I'm not a wizard, but if I was I'd make these pieces of paper burn up in your face." And then I threw the whimpy paper bits at him, like a dopey muggle.

C'mon! My dream mind couldn't even let me pretend to be a wizard? It's literally the only waking dream I have. I kind of believe I could be a wizard - in real life - if I found the right wand.

Sliderock, AZ

This place is great because you can heckle from high above the dude who can't stop slipping down the mossy rock.  "Whoa! WhoA! Wh-whooa!"

I think he'll be o.k.

"Hot? Well, that fades. Craziness sticks around for a looong time."

heh!

poor girl

It's super fun when your teacher passes around a bag of candy in the middle of a test and you're not the girl who has to go sit in the corner because of her terrifying peanut allergy.

They saw me comin'

I'm really glad the indian guy that the Thrifty Flea didn't make me haggle. He probably could smell my fear and took pity on me.

Staff Meetings:

where everybody's a comedian.

ew.

I saw a woman spit today.  She was as good as a man and as gross as a man.

JAN called it

After seeing IMAX Tornado Alley, Julie told us all to get ready for tornado dreams.  At the time, I didn't believe it, but early this morn I had the dream.

Tornadoes were coming our way and my mom was driving the truck right towards them on the winding mountain roads.  

Scary stuff.

Museums are for lovers.

Must be the cold temperatures that make everybody so handsy.

Blogs are everywheres!

the new young lady blogger is cool
  and classy, dresses well and never drinks so much sangria that she pukes.


   we are not her and same goes for most of those fakers!

master

Good luck at grad school today, Robyn!!


You poor little bastard :)

Neither of us wanted to be in this picture.

Tonight, after being bullied by old women at aquasize, Bab and I sat in the car eating pizza and bragging about how we can't tell the difference between wines, but, by God, do we know our beer. And the beer we chose tonight was only 4% alcohol, which we could tell because our legs weren't quite as numb as they should have been. It was good to hang out with my gal, repeating the famous catchphrase from Little Caesar's commercials.

Dingleberry

Breakfast has slowly but surely become my favorite.

Jermichael Finley

"My mom couldn't decide between her favorite Jackson brother."

I miss the Olympics.

It's like I have nothing to root for...there's a void.

A 6 foot tall, 1% body fat, extra small speedo void.

B.S.

Neither me nor my TJ believe this grandiose canyon was carved by that tiny river. We call B.S.! and we have our theories of how it was really formed. I asked TJ if he wanted to drop everything and dedicate our lives - to the point of obsession - to disproving this great myth. So obsessed that we ruin our relationships, both professional and personal because it will consume our every waking moments.

He said, "No."

Which is kind of a bummer when I think about the ironic, beautiful metaphor we could embody; like this little thing just kept getting deeper and wider, bit by bit, and we never understood its power until one day, a trillion years later, we're standing on opposite sides of a grand canyon, thinking That's B.S.

The funniest way to ruin a family vacation.

Every day, several people are bitten by rock squirrels at Grand Canyon National Park. That's a fact. Keep your nuts to yourself, because those chubby cheeks are full of the plague. The poster does not make clear whether it's safe to bite the squirrels...
but thus far, I haven't noticed any weird side effects.

Homer Jay

Cruel 90s

I was telling my mom how I saw a rerun of the Beatles on Ed Sullivan, and how, man, are they pretty ugly, but John is the best looking. And my mom said she was a Paul-girl and, can you believe it, she had friends who said they liked George or Ringo the best! And she thought they were sooo crazy. Then I started to tell her how it was like Howie D or AJ and the Backstreet boys. But I immediately silenced myself with shame.

G.d. pop boy bands.

Free ride!

Yesterday the penny horse at the grocery store was stuck on full-throttle giddyup! A childhood dream come true... 21 years too late.

and I didn't see one chump kid taking advantage.

They're called "Reflectors" if you're trying to google it

My constant neck sunburn due to my large face shadow has finally made clear the use of these things.