Friday!

I hope this weekend

you are the voice

of reason

that reminds

your BFFL

2 coors

ain't gonna be 

enough.

Not ever.

And then you 

snowshoe 

into the remote

valley, taking

turns to pee &

stand guard

for inevitable
mountain lion attacks.

Happy Friday!!

Wednesday happy thoughts

A sigh, courtesy of

 that darling, Drew Barrymore:

Start with eyeliner

Secret Possible Fact: Security guards at the underground RTD bus station spend their free time giving homeless people makeovers!!!

They're certainly not covering for the ticket counter folks on Sundays.

Suffrage always sounds so depressing

We were a little pissed at all the fembots who keep pushing for roles in military combat and have caused the dudes to retort that if women want to play war so bad, then make us all sign up for the draft. Equality in yo' face, bitchez. But then we remembered how easily women would end wars because we'd just put fake boobs on all the drones. Then the rebel forces would be captivated, because BOOBIES, and only a small part of their brains would wonder why there is just a pair of boobs floating in the sky, but a bigger, gruntier part of their brain would simply want to stand up and move in closer because they want to make sure what they've heard is true: not all nipples look alike. But before they can figure it out, they have been shot by the nipple-guns that are shielded by the self-awareness of woman and the transparency of man.

So I guess what we're saying is

sign us up, bro.

Viernes!

Yo quiero the weekend.

Mucho.

Gusto.

Feliz Viernes, esé!

Victorious

Sometimes when a rockslide explodes the main mountain highway not 10 minutes before you get there & you end up having to drive 7 hours & hundreds of miles around & extra, you just lean back & watch the snowy fields roll past & thank yourself for chosing to live in Colorado. You also thank your friend named Kris for taking the last minute post-Chinese-food bathroom break that may have made the difference between being stuck behind a giant rock vs. stuck under it.

That's what you do.

Jurassic P

Superbowl L: when BAB & JAN got sssh'd by Aunt Janice for being old biddys commenting from the buffet

"I gotta say, this seems a little too raunchy and inappropriate."
"Why? Because there's a Yellow Brick Road leading directly to her vagina?"

Olaf!

Superbowl L: when things got political

"That is NOT the ideologic state of our country these days."
"Oh Bab, pipe down and have another beer."

Stock Show

10 year old who is better at art than Bab Ross.

Superbowl L

Evidence suggests Peyton mostly partied last night down by the river and under park benches and on curbs near the homeless shelters.

Yay Donkies! We wondered if knew you could do it!! We love you. 

Sometimes you just have to be the boss of dancing.

JAN broke her hamstring doing some too-fancy moves at zumba.  Then she almost peed her pants telling me about it :)

"Harry Belafonte is a handsome man." - Mom

UH. HUH.

Back when things were simpler? Nay way!

My brand new part-time job is going through old law files.  It's a treasure trove of new clippings and cases which highlight the cultures America wasn't too cool with since the 1950's.
Here's a terrible example:  Not ok with communists but cool enough with these other crazies.  This is just after the end of WWII!  Creepy.

TGIWTF

What's  that you say?

You don't like grapefruit?

Well, let me change your

mind with these simple steps:

1. Buy a grapefruit, 

or be given one by a friend.

Peel fruit skin like an orange.

2. Unlike an orange, 

peel fruit a second time.

Dual peelage is most 

imperative.

3. Fruit should now

be a brilliant shiney

reddish pink wobbly.

4. Peel off the 

juicepods in hunks.

5. Pretend you are a mermaid

eating raw fish.

(Just like when you were 

a little girl.)

Aaaand, now you love 

grapefruit.

Happy Friday.

I should have majored in Marketing

My advertisement for our friend's

knifemaking biznat.

Check it: www.wheelerknifeworks.com

The cutest thing in the petting zoo

was the minature cowboy.

His mom totally saw me take this picture. My only regret is this doesnt show his minature red leather boots.

"Back in the day, they wouldn't allow the book shelvers to help patrons.

I was shelving books in the kids area and a little boy asked me where the Berenstain Bear books were.  So I took him over the librarian and told her what he needed." 

"A few minutes later, I get a tug on my sleeve and the little guy says 'Come on,' I didn't know what else he wanted.  He said, 'I'm going to show you where the Berenstain Bear books are.'"  

1980s NYC

"I can't tell if someone hocked another loogie on my car or whut. It was a small patch of somethin'."
"Maybe a bird wanked off on your hood."

Friday

A pocket full of rocks.

Cheeks for days.

Boat that sails &

mountains that for real

 turn purple.

Papa in the background 

cleaning out the shitter.

This picture 

is my happy place.

Cheers, Friday!

Over the hump

I love

that there

are still humans

out there 

who care enough 

to make

awesomeness.

Gotta love the mama that loves the Manning

15 years ago, this would have super embarrassed me. Now, I only feel pride. And relief I don't need my mom to drive me everywhere.

Oh good lord, I originally wrote "10 years ago" but then had to do the math & realize that would have made me 19. Whoa. Oooooold bones.

"Put your foot up on top of the platteau. "

It is Robbie's

Birthday today!

She is always good

for making us:

laugh 

kettle corn

exercise

lose badly at our favorite games

vodka tonics

cry hard during Titanic.

Keurig konfessions

Dear Mother Gaia - I used 3 k-cups this week (2 coffee, 1 tea).  I am filled with regret and will do my best to bring my own loose coffee and tea in the future.  

Bullshit but True

My homies

A time when

my biggest concern

about moving from

NC to CO

was if they'd have

The Simpsons

out west.

Bonerfied

Good news, world! I discovered we have a backup Matt Damon. And in this version, he's fancy:

Just in case, like me, you forgot why you had yesterday off

Do your self a favor,

listen to him here:

https://vimeo.com/90878744

"What makin' noise?" - Cambi

Why do the robbers always come on the nights I'm home alone?

Friday

T.G.I.M.F.N.F,

eh?

Go on now

and hug somebody.

I'm pretty sure

we all could 

use it.

Lord of the Ringlets

Cambi the Pink.
Known in the Shire
for her spunk
and magical ways.

Delicious Pocket Full of Death

I stuffed my pocket with salt and pepper pistachios from the library break room.  Then I was banished from Corbin's floor hockey game because my pocket had become life threatening to his sensitive soul.

You can't unsee

the "would be" back leg of the kicking donkey that looks oh so much more like a wiener.

Whoever drew this played a terrible prank on many an old lady embroidering towels for her family.

Friday

I hope this weekend

you find the thick ice

& dig a hole

right into the mystic

of the world 

below, 

& you sit with friends

& a beer with a lime

& dangle a thin string

hoping to catch a fish

(who will be too 

shimmery & slick & squirmy

for you to get 

any secrets out of).

And that you pack up

before the sun 

goes far below

the mountains

because shit gets cold

real fast.

Humpster

Dial-up connection.

One song took 2+ hours to download.

Then you play it & find out 

instead of John Lennon singing

"Let it Be," 

you are listening to a creeper

talking like Vader & reading

what you might generously 

call a manifesto.

That was our truth, 

uphills both ways 

as it were.

Lil'Bobby

Sometimes when you love 

somebody, you make them a tiny

replica of the dog they love most

(& thus the reason they call ALL

dogs "Bobby") in this world.

That's what you do.

Christmas is over, Rover

New Years Eve

Happy new year!

Let's make this a good one,
2016.
And if we have to look back
over our shoulder,
let it be while we are in
a pink tutu,
twirling.

Elk

I found them sunbathing

on the golf course!

The holidays are about revolting your family, one member at a time.

Me: I have a cold. I feel like I JUST was sick.
Uncle: Hmm, can you think of anything in your house that might be causing it?
Me: Probably all the mold in the shower I keep neglecting to scrub out.
Uncle: Uhhh, yeah... if you have mold in the shower, you really need to clean it.

Thanks Mam-ma!!

I've named her Púca.

(pookah)

She knows what Christmas

is all about. 

And she likes napping

on the couch with me.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

xoxo

Graham crackers don't hold up well under pressure

We only had 1 breakdown of, "I can't do it!"  and a run upstairs to cry a bit.
I had to keep my composure with multiple roof collapses to be a good example.

The baby got her walls up all by herself and even told us the key to success, "Be really careful."

Older and wiser

Telltale signs that we're getting older - we have to drink coffee before every evening event.  Additionally, our pants were above our belly buttons: high comfort.  

Monday chuckle belly