Here's a story I wrote when I was in first grade (see translation below). I think the climax and denouement will both terrify and satisfy you. I remember volunteering to read it to my class, and although I was sckerd, I remember thinking, "This is some good shit."
Translation:
I was playing inside and I looked out the window. There standing right in front of the door and knocking - it was a wolf! He [was] big, [abnormally] tall and [brandished] big claws. I was so scared; I thought I would faint. I ran all over the house thinking what to do. Finally, I stopped and said, "Wolf! Are you hungry?"
"Yes! Yes! Yes!" [cried the wolf.]
"What would you like to eat?"
"I would like to eat ice cream."
"Would you like ripe red strawberries?"
"Yes."
"Here you go."
And he ate it.
"HOT!!!" said the wolf, running away.
The ripe red strawberries where really HOT RED PEPPERS, so I guess he went off.
The end.
I admire James Franco because you can tell he's just in it for the money.
"So, the women have gathered and protested by going topless."
kill the one animal that's still taboo to exterminate - human children?!
There is a 3 minute window early in the morning when I'm driving & the moon is leaving & the sun is barely peeking & those mountains - they're pinkish purpley - & my heart wishes deeply that some day, we will all meet & chase each other to the top of the hill & we will stand there, laughing & jumping & waving our arms & shouting "Thank you! thank you!" 
"You look like Tim Burton."
"Yeah, it was weird trying to explain where babies came from. 'And here's where the baby comes out of the vaginal canal...'"
for ditching the Broncos and getting rid of your bangs and becoming moderately good looking and almost taking your team to the Superbowl. Ya chump.
Someone found our blog by searching "nude sprayed by hose."
I thought the point of Jeopardy was to shout out the answers. Apparently, you're only supposed to shout if you know it's the answer. Guessing is poo-pooed.
