4.04.2018

Pauly Shore

Sometimes I find myself thinking about Pauly Shore and how he is depressed about being old and feeling obsolete, then I get bummed out. And that is why I try no to think about Pauly Shore.

3.23.2018

Signing Robbie's Wedding guest book (July 2017)

"We had both an accidental 
- and intentional -
penis,
 thanks to you and Rose! 
Soul penis sisters!" - Robbie

Rose is Robyn's adorable 4yr old niece 
who just learned to write her own name.

3.21.2018

Pretending like we were young

What do you do when the baby is in bed asleep by 7:06p? You make sushi & drink wine & watch Northern Exposure.
Then you ruefully understand you got away with nothing when she wakes up at 1:30a (instead of sleeping through the night). Then you bring her into bed & you both hog it until Deddy is falling off the edge.

3.20.2018

Back to the Olympics

Only because I've been thinking about this post since JAN and I talked about how it's so easy to write about the Olympics because it only takes 10 minutes!  (or 2 months)

Did anyone else happen to notice that Conan O'Brien has a North Korean counterpart?! 
I loved it because he was so happy and they seem to have similar personalities, maybe they share the same sign.


3.10.2018

Joy at 6AM

Girlfriend's got it 
figured out.

3.08.2018

Women's Day

[After reading NY Times article]

"Can you believe Saudi Arabia is just now giving women the right to drive cars?!"
"Yes. Women are terrible drivers." - tj

3.07.2018

Birthday gurl

It is BAb's birthday today! And in true fashion, she drank 3 margs at happy hour with her work crew & they were so concerned they made her boyfriend come pick her up.


They dont know BAB. 
She is juuuuuust fine.

Happy bzizzle, Beebs!

3.02.2018

Hairy situation

I hope if we ever get robbed, the thiefs start in our bedroom closet, where they will get the cheap thrills scared out of them when they realize what they are holding is not a silken kerchief, but the sawed off ponytail of an asian man.

Sick, but potentially thwarting.

2.28.2018

Curling

The purest bodies in the entire olympics!

Our #1 fan

Shout out to Aunt Noni!! The only person who still reads this blog ♡

2.25.2018

Razzle AND Dazzle

Fiiiinally, a dude who isn't trying to act like
men ice skating isn't the gayest thing ever.

Yay, Aaron Rippon!

2.22.2018

Staying home

"Are you settling into your role as stay at home mom?"
"Why do you ask? 
Because I've eaten a bowl of ice cream
every night this week?"

2.16.2018

Team Bonding

He is watching hockey.
I am watching a someone make
a miniature keylime pie.

To each his own!


2.15.2018

Milk Mamas Cahoots


Yay (S) Korea!


I never thought I'd be rooting for Korea! Oh Yun Sung Bin, I don't know what I like better: your Ironman helmet or your Korean fanclub! Oh wait, yes I do: your butt.

2.14.2018

My funny valentine.


Bab asked what us lovebirds were doing
for Valentine's Day.
I told her we were going to bed at 8pm.
It's 8:30p & i am no shit writing this
from under the covers.

TJ did bring home pho & 
a surprise avocado boba,
so the love still is a'burnin.

2.13.2018

Somebody done turnt into a babe!

I love the Olympics
and Shaun White,
the 31 year old version.
He is the same age as me!
Crap.
I guess 3 gold medals is 
comparable to squeezing
a human head out of your vageen.

2.12.2018

Olympics 2018, Pyeongchang!

Bob Costas is no more.
British people are hosting the USA NBC recaps.
Is nothing sacred?!

I just heard my first Morgan Freeman-narrated commercial, so I guess ALL is not lost.

We call her monkey, because she has hair that makes her look like a monkey.

 I changed the words of Yankee Doodle
to sing to Sloan, but I always got stuck after "Monkey Doodle went to town, riding on a banana..." Then last night TJ solved the rhyming conundrum, like some sort of poet. I am remiss I didn't come up with it. It is beautiful in its simplicity.
Monkey Doodle went to town
riding on a pony
stuck a banana in his pants
and called it a big boney.

I had a bebe gurl. And then a guiness.

 
 Bab brought heaps of candy.
The perfect gift.

 TJ tells the birth story like 
an exciting tale of adventure & wonder.
I reserve the retelling for around a campfire, a spooky tale of fear & warning.

She came swiftly & was loved immediately.
Breastfeeding blindsided me with its difficulty. Caring for another human being
was life altering & fragile for a while.
It has taken me months & quitting my job
to chill out.
Now, me & her... we chill.

But along the way, she continues
to be awesome. And so damned cute.




2.11.2018

7.29.17

This is BAB.
She is driving me to meet up with my husband.
She is driving because I am in labor.
She is driving because she loves me.
She is my ambulance.
The sun is setting over the mountains & even though my life is about to change drastically & be crazy crazy for a few months, I feel protected & peaceful & in love.
We both cry a little for our own reasons.
BAB delivers me safely to TJ's arms.

7.07.2017

9 months

Lookin like a goddess,
the ones made out of clay
that you bury in the dirt.

7.04.2017

New knowledge

I didn't know a salad could be good without cheese!

6.25.2017

Prairie dog field

"Look at all those tiny bottles.  The prairie dogs around here are terrible drunks."
 - The boss



The best one


5.03.2017

Waiting around in a parking lot

"Want a pretzel?"
"Are those from the floor of the car?"
"Yeah, but I just spilled them there this morning."
[He takes & eats pretzel]


4.19.2017

Cheese block

Cheddar in a home that only houses two 56 year old people.  

My new roommate, Jeff.

I like to call him "sugar baby" because it's not annoying.
And I like him because he once woke up with a candy wrapper stuck to his back.  

Nelson 4 Prez


4.17.2017

Easter

When you have your own mountain
you have your own Easter sunrise service
immediately followed by
eggo waffles.

4.14.2017

"What you are about to do, do quickly."

Did Judas go to heaven?
No! Well, betrayal isn't the same 
as lack of faith. So... maybe. 
hope Judas is in heaven.
Yeah, me too.



4.07.2017

"I'm gonna slip you a little Gil between your Boggs!" - ballet director Gil Boggs

It was supposed to be
The Little Mermaid Ballet
based on Hans Christian Andersen's 
tale of woe. 
What it was? 
Offbroadway Disney on ice, 
no ice, no skates.
From the mind of director Gil Boggs,
who also narrated the whole 
dismal plot, was a "ballet."
I haven't laughed that hard in a long long time.

"Oh look, a sea cucumber!" 
-  3 drinks Noil


"I don't know, Gil. This seems an aweful lot like a Disney version knockoff..."
"No! It's the Gil Twist!" 
- 4 drinks Bab