Hold on to your butts.

I look like this:

because of this:

Please, Lord, let the c.g. dinos hold up to the originals.


The following is a true event. Names and details have not been change to protect the idiot boy

"I found the perfect spot! The chips fit perfectly."
"For real TJ? No they don't."


A little girl's wish is fulfilled

JAN finally got her doll-loving self to the American Girl Doll store on Magnificent Mile.
And we basked in its glory for hours.


Improper? Whatever

Poppa said the postcard I sent them from Brazil was "interesting."  And here I thought I sent them one that you would expect to get from yonder country.

Sleepy tales of Chicago

"We were so tired from Amish Country last night, we didn't even talk and laugh a bunch before falling asleep."


please let this never be real life

This morning, I woke up, ashamed of myself, from a dream where I was a total creeper.  

Someone had to ask me to stop sitting on people's laps and find a chair of my own :( 

Friday thank you

I'd like to take this minute to publicly thank my bffl BAB for not being into any of those mini-vendor parties women guilt other women into attending.  Thank you for not making me feel obligated to sit in your living room with ladies where i have to pretend to like the hooker-effect of Mary Kay makeup or the 'I would have totally dug this when I was 5' jamberry nails or makes my nose tingle and temples throb scensy candles or this is not original in anyway I've seen my grandma wear it grandma jewelry!

The only party B likes to throw is bust open a box of wine and watch Superbad on repeat. RSVP for one, please!


Thursday Peptalk

This man, Faried (not pronounced Fah-ryed),
just turned 25. And even though he's getting
the shit stuffed out his nose, he is also
getting paid more in one year than you will
your entire life.
He just turned 25.
Makes you regret not being born 
a small black boy in the projects,
doesn't it?


Announcement hurled upon deaf ears

"Forget what you never even listened to!" 



I can't imagine being homeless in Chicago,
it's too cold there! But I guess it would be
hard to make your way to Mexico if
your brain doesn't work very well.
                 - bab


You tell me

how to play the game Guess the alphabet letter with your tongue and not look like a perv.