3.31.2016

Eaglepowers! Come to me!

Eaglecam might just be the greatest thing on this whole damned planet. Eagles are just as chill as you expected. I particularly enjoyed the day they had a whole shiney fish laying in the nest, like dad went rogue at the market and on a whim got seafood for supper. But of course did not plan out any sides, such as greenbeans or sweet potatoes, as dads are wont to do.


3.30.2016

The Doc says his roots are strong; it is well with my soul.

Let us not be surprised
when we have to face difficulties.
When the wind blows hard 
on a tree,
the roots stretch and grow 
the stronger.
Let it be so with us.
Let us not be weaklings,
yeilding to every wind
that blows, 
but strong
in spirit to resist.
- a. carmichael

3.25.2016

You get it gurrrl.

I think Caitlyn Jenner is just so brave.

Swim so wild and you swim so free

"Why won't you sing me a song?
What abouuut... Baby Beluga!...
Do you know that song?"
[pauses jumping, gets up close to mah face]
"That's Raffi."

Happy Friday!
Drop some knowledge on
yo aunties this weekend.

3.23.2016

Can't stop smiling

This is what an unexpected work-from-home day
(possibly turning into a snow day)
looks like:
Isn't it just, like, THE most beautiful
sight you have ever seen?
[wipes tear from cheek]

3.18.2016

"Your so-called secretary won't let me speak to anyone."

FRIDAY! Once everyone has left the office, have a glass of wine and try to forget all the people who were mean to you on the phone this week and especially try to forget that you go back on Monday.

I don't think I have a future in law-officing.  Just 1 more week.

OPC (Other Peoples' Cabinets)

I was housesitting for, like 4 days and couldn't find any good mugs for my morning tea.  Until the last day, when I looked up.

3.16.2016

No need to cry

The post-pap-smear apology to your vagina. It's THE most important thing you can do for your health.

3.12.2016

Birthday ruiner

Thanks, Peyton, for making your retirement speech at the exact time I wanted to open my birthday present.  Oh yes, I was asked to wait until you were finished crying your heart out.


3.11.2016

Yes please.

Fridays are almost
as good feeling
as the beach at sunset
while you drink
from a broken
beer bottle
because you forgot
to buy twist-off caps.

3.10.2016

Hot Tips


"For traveling, you should just keep a scanned copy of all your important documents in your email. But hide it in a folder no hacker would ever want to read."
"Like '2015 Taxes'."
"Or 'Baby Room Decoration Ideas'."

3.07.2016

Birthday Girrrrrl

It's BAB's birthday #9 (because the only ones that count are the ones we've gotten to share)! Do yourself a favor and don't go back through each year of old emails and find the birthday highlights. Because then you'll read things like "Remember in college when we used to be able to dance at midnight when our birthdays came around? I'm so glad we got to be roommates." And then you'll get a little weepy & you can't think what to tell your best friend on their 9th birthday that isnt a gutpunch. So, I'll just take a line out of the 2012 birthday email, "I can't wait to see you tonight! And hold you in my arms like I did when you turned 22."

Happy birthday, BFFL! Let's get drunk in the parked car and eat a pizza, like we always do. Some things stay the same, if you love'em well enough.




3.04.2016

Friday!!

When she saw me,
waiting there at the zoo
we ran toward each other 
(well, one of us ran 
& one of us pony-pranced)
& I held her in my arms
until they were so tired 
they fell off.
She climbed on or hanged from
all of the things.
She wanted to hold
the "so cute"
elephant
but was afraid of the
 ladybug.
At each roped off area,
she would hault & grab the rope 
& shake it up & down 
& sing Jingle Bells.
Don't even get her started
on how funny
 the domesticated geese were,
even when they snatched a pickle 
from her hand & I screamed.
She announced to everyone
that the gorilla had a
"BIG. BUTT."
& was just as excited about
seeing the lion poster 
as she was seeing the real lion.
She got mad at the hippo
for going underwater
& correctly pointed out
that the tapir
lives in a "rainforest"
which she remembered
from "my book!"
 At one point
she gently cupped my face 
in her hands
& whispered that she wanted
popcorn.
And then I vowed to buy her
all of the popcorn
 in the big butt world
& then we rode
a zebra
into the sunset.


The zoo,
it has never been so precious.

Happy Friday, monkies!

3.03.2016

Mrs Doubtfire Part II

Due to a family emergency, BAB has to watch her 2 nieces and 1 nephew for a whole weekend. Last night she was a little nervous about the responsibility of such things as not forgetting them at school, cooking food that won't poison the highly allergic one, and not being late to bucket drumming practice. Then her fears subsided when we came up with a beyond brilliant plan! Dress up like Mrs. Doubtfire! A hip old granny who likes to hiphop, beebop, shop till ya drop, yo' yo' makes a wicked cup o' coco. I can't wait to see their faces when she picks them up from school! And when we make them drive us home from the bar.