Thanks JAN

for chatting on the phone with me tonight so that I "couldn't" do homework


That little girl sure loves boobs.


I woke up with one sock on this morning.


Channel your Magic Eye skills to see the frozen fish Sugar tried to eat on the shores of Lake Michigan


The worst would be having to call the IT department to say,
      "I clicked You Gotta See This! on that forward.  Please come fix my computer."


Little Indians

It was difficult to shovel in our naan, masala, and paneer while simultaneously complaining about how small and conductive the serving bowls were. We had to remember to swallow, "MMmmm", then complain. Also annoying was the man with the sitar. But, they taught us our lesson when he finished and they put in cassette side B "Jazz Flutes Forever."
You wouldn't know it from the above paragraph, but we (three) had a good time hanging out last night and of course had leftovers even though "how tiny are these bowls?"


Indiana's #1 Vacation Destination

Fair Oaks Farm.  Where a calf is born every day.  I only saw 2 hooves, then the mom got tired.  The already birthed babies were probably cuter anyway.  

"Let us sing the school song!"

Everybody finished the song at different times. At last, only the Weasley twins were left singing along to a very slow funeral march. Dumbledore conducted their last few lines with his wand and when they had finished, he was one of those who clapped the loudest. "Ah music," he said, wiping his eyes. "A magic beyond all we do here! And now, bedtime. Off you trot!"
- JK Rowling


I like that hat.

Nobody can beat Pope John Paul II for "best Pope ever." And I'm not saying I would come close, but I am saying if I had been born a boy, my parents were to name me John Paul. Plus, if a ex-Hitler's Youth can make it to the Vatican... there's hope. Pope hope. 


Shame on you

I'd like whoever called the fuzz on Todd Helton to raise their right hand. Now, whip-it quickly across your face!

Poor Todd just needed a lotto ticket. And if he's made it to the world series mostly wasted, then like hell he's not going to make it to the local Qwik-e-mart.

I know a lot of childhood-hero images were crushed with this picture, but most shocking to me: that's what was under the chinchilla goatee all these years? yeesh.


Dare I say Bab has learned nothing after all these years of watching America's Next Top Model? NEVER - no, ALWAYS - find the light! Highlight not thy second chins and flared nostrils.
My parents are looking for a new-used car.

Dad doesn't want a Subaru because he's not into the obligatory "coexist" bumper sticker.


Federal and State blow jobs

"Government jobs are bs because you never get a catered lunch or tickets to a sporting event.  Never, because it's illegal." - BAB


The Bachelor had a better time than last week.

"You know, this week, I feel like my future wife could actually be among these 10 women.  What a relief.  So, CHEERS!"

Add it to my hopes and dreams - to someday make a toast in my honor.  Here's to me, the best person in this room.

Super Bowl

Touch footballs games are a little different when you're older. A lot more sweating and a lot less running. Half time refreshments? Coors Light and doobies. And every single person (even the cleat-wearers) will be limping around for a week afterwards, sore as the dickens. One thing will stay the same: when you get two hand-tagged on your boobies, you will be very ashamed.


Fleeting shadow

Well, I was going to wish everyone a Happy MFN Groundhog's Day! But, that happened 3 days ago. Crap. That's why elementary school was great - if there was a holiday, no matter how trivial, you colored at least 25 different pages designed around the celebration, never letting you forget it was coming. How many pictures of MLK Jr. did we have to color? The black crayon was just a nub by February.