This time BAB and I brought in the New Year the right way -
by cannonballing off the diving board
and getting huge wedgies as a result.
May your splashes be as grand as ours!

Smell ya later, 2010.
You were a good one.


speak for yourself. i was able to properly identify Jackie M.F.N. Chan during the Olympic closing ceremonies

You know how people are like, "Ray Charles is the best." and you're like, "He's dead." and they're like, "Is he? Nah... he's still alive." and you're like, "You're thinking of Bill Cosby. Bill Cosby's still alive." and then they get on their preachy horse and act all offended because they think you think all Black guys look alike?

Pretty annoying.


Never order two

Because after you've finished the first hotdog, you don't even want the one you just ate.

one desire that's left in me: i want the whole damn world to come dance with me


million dollar idea

"You should start a website called 'Pooping in Geocaches.'"


we accidentally wore matching plaid shirts. so sue us.

JAN: Why do they always get more ice cream scooped than us?!
BAB's sister: Well, look how they're dressed! They're in fancy teen dresses, with makeup and high heels! And you guys...
BAB: ... Look like we could go chop some wood if we had to?


True Love

I value having a friend who says, "You've got another thing coming if you think I'm going to give up on this friendship." 
Only a BFFL can say such loving things in such a threatening way.

"Huh! Eh! Hai! Hoh!"

Are the exact sounds if you need to make for the dog sled team that's hooked up to your sled-on-wheels to cross the street, go onto the sidewalk, and make their way to Safeway.
It's called Urban Mushing.


This morning I waited patiently in my bike lane for the light to turn green so I could cross Timberline.  But then! All the cars started turning right and wouldn't let me have my god given right to cross.  And the injustice of it all made me so mad that I started to cry.

Bon Jovi was the highest earner on tour this summer.

This news is no shock to Julie who would likely say, "It's simply because he looks so good."

where have i heard that name before?

A little while ago, I heard someone speak the name John Kerry. It sounded familiar, like I'd once known this person. I said the name over to myself a few times and then this face popped up into mah brain and I had myself a good 2-5 minute chuckle.
 Oh John Kerry, you idiot.


April, 2011

If you want me and BAB to start crying ever-so-slightly, just show us the preview for a documentary about rescuing baby orangutans and elephants. And if you must, have Morgan Freeman narrate the whole time.

goodbye, chin.

"Yeah, Birdman! Get the neck tattoo! It'll look so sweet,"
said no one.

Excuse me.

I thought this was America. Where I can say, "I hate the Blue Man group." and then bow out, point made.

I guess it is America, but I'm dating a Russian spy who won't take "Their blue faces annoy me" for an answer.

Today was my first time playing racquetball without a leg brace!

Lo' and behold, I got pegged right on the cooter.


Be kind to them ladies, they're tender souls.

Our best pals Jay and Jeff both recently engaged themselves in the activity of getting engaged to be married, and not to each other believe it or not!

I see them now; talking about getting pregnant at the same time, being next door neighbors and secretly wishing their kids will someday marry so they can finally be true family.



I always thought they were saying baclava. But you can't wear a dessert.

"I finally looked up what a balaclava is.  It's one of those robbery ski masks where you can only see the person's eyes."

"But Hagrid wears those all the time!"

"Those crazy brits."



"My yogurt = fail. But, I finished my homework! Whew."
"Maybe you could turn the bum yogurt into mayonnaise! and smear it on your homework!"

only a bffl would have responded with "brilliant" instead of "why do you say the things you say?"


Until about two months ago

whenever I heard someone say, "Struggling to make ends meet." what my mind was hearing was, "Struggling to make ends meat." and it didn't really make sense to me but I thought, hey, It is hard to buy meat when you're at the end of your monies. And then I went on my merry way for 24 years.

But for some reason the other month, my brain suddenly realized it was a m-f'n homophone and then the world turned upside down and I got a little queasy and I had to sit down and eat a some cheez-its.

It's World AIDS Day everybody!

Let's try and combat the most depressing holiday ever by celebrating safely.