Goya gives me joya.


It's as good

as he makes it look.
And you guessed right - it's mayonnaise.


The uninvited guest

I think we all learned a little lesson tonight about choosing to have your birthday at a park in the city. It is hard to make a wish when the flame you're blowing out is the bag of trash the bum lit on fire.


I love that the question "What are you going to be for Halloween?" is now the easiest question to answer. I'm excited for Halloween at work because I'll get to ditch my forsaken non-stretchy pants and wear the most comfortable outfit in the world. Oh cowabunga, baby. Gimme that built-in back support! One time last winter I wore this outfit for two weeks straight, no kidding. And when I finally put on some real clothes, TJ kept saying how great I looked. And I felt a little guilty that the only reason I wasn't wearing the pilly green outfit was because I decided it needed a run through the washer.


Bad Dreams

The sucky thing about no longer having reoccurring teaching nightmares is that now my brain has room to just have crazy, crazy dreams. It has been on hiatus for over 2 years, but it's back. And the worst dream I've had? An evil wizard was trying to get a secret out of me, and I threatened him,"I'm not a wizard, but if I was I'd make these pieces of paper burn up in your face." And then I threw the whimpy paper bits at him, like a dopey muggle.

C'mon! My dream mind couldn't even let me pretend to be a wizard? It's literally the only waking dream I have. I kind of believe I could be a wizard - in real life - if I found the right wand.


Sliderock, AZ

This place is great because you can heckle from high above the dude who can't stop slipping down the mossy rock.  "Whoa! WhoA! Wh-whooa!"


I think he'll be o.k.

"Hot? Well, that fades. Craziness sticks around for a looong time."


poor girl

It's super fun when your teacher passes around a bag of candy in the middle of a test and you're not the girl who has to go sit in the corner because of her terrifying peanut allergy.

They saw me comin'

I'm really glad the indian guy that the Thrifty Flea didn't make me haggle. He probably could smell my fear and took pity on me.


Staff Meetings:

where everybody's a comedian.



I saw a woman spit today.  She was as good as a man and as gross as a man.


JAN called it

After seeing IMAX Tornado Alley, Julie told us all to get ready for tornado dreams.  At the time, I didn't believe it, but early this morn I had the dream.
Tornadoes were coming our way and my mom was driving the truck right towards them on the winding mountain roads.  
Scary stuff.


Museums are for lovers.

Must be the cold temperatures that make everybody so handsy.


Blogs are everywheres!

the new young lady blogger is cool
  and classy, dresses well and never drinks so much sangria that she pukes.

   we are not her and same goes for most of those fakers!


Good luck at grad school today, Robyn!!

You poor little bastard :)


Neither of us wanted to be in this picture.

Tonight, after being bullied by old women at aquasize, Bab and I sat in the car eating pizza and bragging about how we can't tell the difference between wines, but, by God, do we know our beer. And the beer we chose tonight was only 4% alcohol, which we could tell because our legs weren't quite as numb as they should have been. It was good to hang out with my gal, repeating the famous catchphrase from Little Caesar's commercials.


Breakfast has slowly but surely become my favorite.


Jermichael Finley

"My mom couldn't decide between her favorite Jackson brother."

I miss the Olympics.

It's like I have nothing to root for...there's a void.
A 6 foot tall, 1% body fat, extra small speedo void.



Neither me nor my TJ believe this grandiose canyon was carved by that tiny river. We call B.S.! and we have our theories of how it was really formed. I asked TJ if he wanted to drop everything and dedicate our lives - to the point of obsession - to disproving this great myth. So obsessed that we ruin our relationships, both professional and personal because it will consume our every waking moments.

He said, "No."

Which is kind of a bummer when I think about the ironic, beautiful metaphor we could embody; like this little thing just kept getting deeper and wider, bit by bit, and we never understood its power until one day, a trillion years later, we're standing on opposite sides of a grand canyon, thinking That's B.S.


The funniest way to ruin a family vacation.

Every day, several people are bitten by rock squirrels at Grand Canyon National Park. That's a fact. Keep your nuts to yourself, because those chubby cheeks are full of the plague. The poster does not make clear whether it's safe to bite the squirrels...
but thus far, I haven't noticed any weird side effects.

Homer Jay


Cruel 90s

I was telling my mom how I saw a rerun of the Beatles on Ed Sullivan, and how, man, are they pretty ugly, but John is the best looking. And my mom said she was a Paul-girl and, can you believe it, she had friends who said they liked George or Ringo the best! And she thought they were sooo crazy. Then I started to tell her how it was like Howie D or AJ and the Backstreet boys. But I immediately silenced myself with shame.

G.d. pop boy bands.

Free ride!

Yesterday the penny horse at the grocery store was stuck on full-throttle giddyup! A childhood dream come true... 21 years too late.
and I didn't see one chump kid taking advantage.


They're called "Reflectors" if you're trying to google it

My constant neck sunburn due to my large face shadow has finally made clear the use of these things.