1.30.2016

"Back in the day, they wouldn't allow the book shelvers to help patrons.

I was shelving books in the kids area and a little boy asked me where the Berenstain Bear books were.  So I took him over the librarian and told her what he needed." 


"A few minutes later, I get a tug on my sleeve and the little guy says 'Come on,' I didn't know what else he wanted.  He said, 'I'm going to show you where the Berenstain Bear books are.'"  


1.29.2016

1980s NYC

"I can't tell if someone hocked another loogie on my car or whut. It was a small patch of somethin'."
"Maybe a bird wanked off on your hood."

Friday

A pocket full of rocks.
Cheeks for days.
Boat that sails &
mountains that for real
 turn purple.
Papa in the background 
cleaning out the shitter.

This picture 
is my happy place.

Cheers, Friday!

1.28.2016

Over the hump


I love
that there
are still humans
out there 
who care enough 
to make
awesomeness.

1.27.2016

Gotta love the mama that loves the Manning

15 years ago, this would have super embarrassed me. Now, I only feel pride. And relief I don't need my mom to drive me everywhere.

Oh good lord, I originally wrote "10 years ago" but then had to do the math & realize that would have made me 19. Whoa. Oooooold bones.

1.26.2016

"Put your foot up on top of the platteau. "

It is Robbie's
Birthday today!
She is always good
for making us:
laugh 
kettle corn
exercise
lose badly at our favorite games
vodka tonics
cry hard during Titanic.



1.24.2016

Keurig konfessions

Dear Mother Gaia - I used 3 k-cups this week (2 coffee, 1 tea).  I am filled with regret and will do my best to bring my own loose coffee and tea in the future.  


1.21.2016

My homies

A time when
my biggest concern
about moving from
NC to CO
was if they'd have
The Simpsons
out west.

1.20.2016

Bonerfied

Good news, world! I discovered we have a backup Matt Damon. And in this version, he's fancy:

1.15.2016

"What makin' noise?" - Cambi

Why do the robbers always come on the nights I'm home alone?

Friday

T.G.I.M.F.N.F,
eh?
Go on now
and hug somebody.
I'm pretty sure
we all could 
use it.

1.13.2016

Lord of the Ringlets

Cambi the Pink.
Known in the Shire
for her spunk
and magical ways.

1.12.2016

Delicious Pocket Full of Death


I stuffed my pocket with salt and pepper pistachios from the library break room.  Then I was banished from Corbin's floor hockey game because my pocket had become life threatening to his sensitive soul.

You can't unsee

the "would be" back leg of the kicking donkey that looks oh so much more like a wiener.
Whoever drew this played a terrible prank on many an old lady embroidering towels for her family.

1.08.2016

Friday

I hope this weekend
you find the thick ice
& dig a hole
right into the mystic
of the world 
below, 
& you sit with friends
& a beer with a lime
& dangle a thin string
hoping to catch a fish
(who will be too 
shimmery & slick & squirmy
for you to get 
any secrets out of).
And that you pack up
before the sun 
goes far below
the mountains
because shit gets cold
real fast.

1.06.2016

Humpster


Dial-up connection.
One song took 2+ hours to download.
Then you play it & find out 
instead of John Lennon singing
"Let it Be," 
you are listening to a creeper
talking like Vader & reading
what you might generously 
call a manifesto.
That was our truth, 
uphills both ways 
as it were.


Lil'Bobby

Sometimes when you love 
somebody, you make them a tiny
replica of the dog they love most
(& thus the reason they call ALL
dogs "Bobby") in this world.
That's what you do.