boys and bab suck at nail maintenance

BAB:  "And what are these things?"

JAN: "Oohhhhhhhhh gross.  Those are still cuticles, you need to push them down."

(a conversation about the eponychium, or the thin cuticle JAN's mom would always push down hard and make her cry)


People doing serious talk about fantasy football makes me lolz.


Different sides of the peso

"If a guy's native language is Spanish chances of him being named Jorge are 93% no
matter his country of origin."
"And I would have guessed it was Jesus."
"My stats come from academia Spanish speakers, yours are probably correct for prison."


I can't believe she regrets NOT saying this

"Ugh, I should have said to LeeAnne and Eyan's wedding party RSVP, 'Let's consummate this thing!' "

dual transport modes.

I'm getting braver on the lightrail! The first time I tried to load my bike I waived to the conductor to be like, "Hey! Don't driveoff too fast while I load this baby!" But I think he took it for "I'll catch the next one." And 15 minutes later, I DID catch the next one. Now I'm a pro; I'm not even scared anymore! Well, except for yesterday on the ride home when a guy got on the virtually empty car & sat in the seat right next to me. I was trying to read my book, but all that ran though my brain was he's looking at me he's looking at me i'm so glad i have this bike barrier he's looking at me. But when I turned to give him the stink eye, I saw he was fast asleep. The little tyke was just plum tuckered out from a day of work.


Laura Ingalls Wilder without the prairie

That's us standing in front of our house.
Yep! We own a home!
You can just call us two of the happiest
home-o's you ever did see.


First sad story from FL

Security asked if I had any liquids in my suitcase, I was sure there weren't any so I blamed it on Julie.  
But it was me after all.  Three nail polishes with which to paint our beautiful toes and never got around to.

wedding night woes

"My nipples are super chafed."
"From TJ!?"
"No! My god! It's from the cold mountains and not wearing a bra yesterday."


Mario Mushroom in the flesh!

Apparently they're very poisonous.  To the point of death.

Trash collection


As raunchy as we get

Robyn and I weaved undies out of fruit by the foot for JAN's bachelorette tea party, and bless her heart she promised to try them on someday.

Julie was never happy with the casting of Lupin in H.P.

"Billy Elliott should have been Lupin.  He was a babe with a couple gray hairs who had a hard Werewolf life."


Monkey climbs 14er, barely lives to tell treacherous tale.

It's a goal every person who lives in Colorado has, whether they like it or not.  That's me, on top of a mountain -->

Unsure of exactly how many times I said, "F*** me," it was definitely in the double digits.  Mt. Shavano made me cry twice.  Probably best I made this journey alone.

Everyone says to start early, but they don't say carefully follow the signs, so I spent an hour warming up mah bones on the wrong trail.  Found some friendly campers with crotch sniffin' dogs who got me on the right track and decided I couldn't quit before I started even if I really, really wanted to.

But, I'll be damned if it isn't beautiful!


what i was gonna say

Three days before the wedding, Bab and I found ourselves at an Old Chicago's, back to our roots, where you might say we became bffl. We talked about how, sure, changes were coming but the important stuff would stay the same and yeah we know good times are ahead, but those old days were mighty fine themselves. And if I could have quit crying for 2 gd seconds last weekend, I would have made a toast to BAB publicly declaring if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have found the love of my life. And without her unending support, without her always being there to turn to in happy & sad times for advice or just a tiny loyal shoulder to rest my head, I wouldn't have made it to that altar. And I would have said to the crowd, "Everybody deserves a BAB. And I hope you should be so lucky to find one. And if you do, always keep room for her in that special place in your heart, the place where there is only space for wonderful silent giggles and afternoon teaparties and quotes from You've Got Mail and a soulfriend who lets you feel small sometimes so they can hold you just right."

I know how lucky I am to have two great loves of my life. I think TJ summed it up the day he put BAB on his guest list & I said, "Brittany's on MY list!" "B's on both our lists." We couldn't have done it without you pal, me especially.


Night before last

Do you ever spit after you brush your teeth and think,
"Man, that's a lot of blood!"
then remember, "No, that's a lot of twizzlers."


A true blue Catholic

Story borrowed from different BFFLs

"Alison asked if the Eucharist was salted.  And I said, 'You don't salt the body of Christ!' "

After Cindy measured my blood pressure to be 70/62, which is the "fainting" category,

I gave some blood today.
Then the blood quit flowing because the donation van has to be kept darn cold so people don't faint!  Such a small amount of blood in the bag wasn't even enough to give to someone.  Meka said they'll use it for "research" which I think means feeding it to vampire bats.


Kind words from Jay

"I'm still not convinced you and Julie aren't gay."

JAN and I woulda married if we coulda, but TJ got in the way ;)

Jay also thinks I still kill mice for a living, so he probably has some sort of brain blockage.


Going to marry off my bffl

It's here.  The Big Show.  The Zip-a-dee-doo-dah.

Julie's not going anywhere, really, except to Cabo for a week.  Her last name will change, but she'll always be JAN to me and my love for her shall not waver!

Continue to be a good example of love and marriage for me, JAN and TJ! Lord knows I could use a little help.
The happiest sad people ever.