Male stripper or what?

It's a shame Robyn already told Julie that the real internet guy might show up during her pre-wedding tea party.

"Oh, you GUYS!  I said not to do this!  Ok, I'm ready.  Bring it on, mister."


Water Ski Talk

JAN: "I'm not even sure I want to be that good."

a little bit later
"I said it and I meant it."


Remember when you saw Kitt Kittridge an American Girl and halfway through the movie Countee revealed he was really a girl but had to dress like a boy because it was more dangerous for homeless girls during the depression and you were like, "Whaaa?"
To this day, I still can't tell the difference between Countee and her twin brother, Jaden Smith


Prince George, baby

I bet Ron Wesley is so proud that the royal family named their baby after his bro!

Just kiddin.
The Wesley's don't give a crap about muggle trivialities.

I cannot wait until term starts again! I miss Hogwarts.


Witches brew

It does make me a little sad when dry ice doesn't make me giddy anymore.
I made sure to swirl the smoke around at lease a little.

nobody beats the kaisers prices

I love myself today for buying the $.50 ice cream cone and for wearing the neon leggings.


Boy cousins

BLB: "I like being a man, being bigger, faster, stronger."

BAB: "I like being a woman.  It's nice being smarter."


My soon to be motherinlaw got me this little bowl so I wouldn't steal hers. She knows me so well! And those chia seeds? She was eating those before they were cool, you poindexter. I can't wait for the day when my kids ask, "Mommy, is grandma your little sister?" "No child, we've been through this before. Her flawless tan asian skin means she will forever look like the summertime highschool lifeguard that makes all the boys hope today is the day their mom takes her hawkeyes off of them long enough for them to swim to the deep end to drown, just a little bit, and get some of that sweet sweet CPR."

Lobster bisque. Sorry the smiley faces got a little weird


Thanksgiving circa 2011

"Can you believe how many Canadians were at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade?!  How do you suspect we got them to come celebrate our holiday?"

"Maybe they lured them in with maple syrup."


Fatal Attractions. It scared the shiz out of everyone in America.

I support gun ownership when your babies are a combo of humans and lions.  Why?  Because inevitably, you're going to have to kill one of them. 

It's just that baby lions are so cute!

in the ghetto

The best thing about living on the edge of the highlands (the cheapside) is that the local grocery store caters to the crowd. Which means, a tortilla aisle! A whole aisle dedicated to their flat floured goodness. I got no complaints, ese.


10,000 spoons

Biodegradable Yogurtland spoons: the only spoon I don't throw away.


read with a dictionary.

I understand the very basic level of Bab's thesis because she explained it to me as she would a 5 yr old. And when I couldn't understand that, she drew me this picture:
Now I understand! - the potato loves the bacteria, but how do you get the bacteria to love the potato back? It's a tale as old as time.


I live in the coolest city.  
There's art on public walls and you get robbed by kids who take the bud light lime from the fridge.

master beats rock

"We got in a fight about where to put the milk. He said door and I said the shelf. Then I was pissed for a while! Then I compromised and put it on the door, second shelf. It was all very stupid."
"Well I learned in my food science class that stuff on the fridge door doesn't keep as cold, so if you want to bring up the fight again you can use that fact."

[10 minutes later]
"Did you see where the milk is? But know this - Bab says stuff on the door doesn't stay as cold so it doesn't stay as fresh. It's true science. She took a class! AND she has a master's degree."
I know where i'll be going for marriage advice come August.

second base

Bab has recently started eating the entire apple - core & all (no seeds) because she "likes an obtainable personal challenge." While I'm intrigued, I fear this is as far as I'm ever gonna go with an apple.


More stories from America's wang

Our first souvenirs.  Theme-parking is hard.

Platform 9.75

Yes. It happened.
We got our acceptance letters... 

we both agreed it won't be the END of the world if we lose it, but we're allowed to be really sad

Believe it or not, Bab & I spent 10 minutes digging through every single Bart keychain to find the best two. Bab not only understands my compulsion for visual perfection, she supports it! And thus, best friends with matching awesome keychains.

When the would-be stabbEE becomes the stabbER

"I said mace would be good, but I decided on a knife.  It's more threatening looking.  Especially when I say, 'I double dare ya!'"

                       - J.A.N. on her jogging weapon of choice


Better than groceries

Tonight I walked down Spring Creek Trail to the liquor store and got some classy white wine.  

Are my kickball skills not good enough?

This summer my roommate/cousin and I rock on a pretty sucky kickball team, but he failed to tell me about the softball league he joined with his work.


Remember to wipe your shirt

The bottom of honey roasted peanuts is most delicious.

Chiefly honey roasted and less peanut.


Bachelorette Party!

Dare I say JAN had the best time ever? I DO!

We started with Disneyworld, where it got real, and moved around FL from there.  People seemed very impressed by our matching shirts, which turned the rest of our clothes hot pink.
we took turns wearing the fanny each day - a la Jay Hardy
(she's so cute)


How many treasures can one cavern hold?

Rubberband ball and used staple collection. Anything to get me to 5 o'clock.

BAB's first words after waking from 2yr grad school coma

"Has man walked on the moon?"


Graduation Gifts

Robyn bought me a bottle opener, I bought me a beer!

School's. Out. For. Summer!  School's. Out. ForEVER!

Spud Master

She did it! Defended the shit out of her thesis! Now i am obliged to call her Sensei Potato and feed her only the crispy fries, as clearly outlined in the jungle law. I' m so glad we can quit stressing and start livin'.

So awesome, palsie!