It is estimated that 3 out of 10 puppies are suffering from depression. Puppy suicide is on the rise. Second only to mange, it is the number one cause of death for puppies. Puppy suicide is no laughing matter. Please, talk to your puppy. Tell them they are not alone.
This is me and Fred, The World's Greatest Hamster. Shortly hereafter, he smelled the cheerio residue on my hands and bit me.
3 years later, Fred will ironically die on Christmas morning. My mom will tell me she saw him climb into Santa's sleigh and fly off to the North Pole. I will feel confused and a little betrayed by both Santa and Fred, for years to come.
This Christmas eve, I will come to the family gathering armed with a whacking-device. Preferably a wooden bat. The crowbar seems like it would do too much damage, and damage is not what I'm in for. Because my sister is likely not recieving a ring this Christmas, I have devised a plan to knock out the idiot. He will slip into a coma for a day or three, and when he comes to, we will all congratulate him on the engagement. When he says he doesn't remember ever getting on one knee, I'll gently tell him he has lacunar amnesia. If he asks if I got this idea from that Sandra Bullock movie, I'll gently whack him again. Maybe with the crowbar.
"One Christmas night my parents were being horrible and fighting like usual, and I stepped outside for a minute to get away from it all. The stars were so bright. And I wanted to run away. Then I heard the faintest jingle of bells. My heart was beating fast and I was holding my breath, looking up at the sky, as the bells got louder and closer. Then a car drove by, and I realized the noise was coming from the chains on the tires... But for a minute, I truly believed it was Santa."