Fare thee well, ogres.

After 8 more hours of work... I'm off to the face of the sun. I'll see you on the flipside.

PS. I got a tetnus shot today. Now I can use those rusty shower razors with a little more ease.
PPS. My boss ate 4 ears of corn at lunch. It was awesome.


"What am I going to draw with this blue marker?"

My sister got markers to draw on her son's sandwiches, but apparently they make PB&J taste funny.


I am grateful

that I got to spend some quality time with my BFFL.
especially while eating froyo.

I might not make it out alive.

My final fall semester of school has begun and boy has it been grueling!  From being teased by a teacher for having too small of a notebook, "Hold that thing up and show the class!!" to answering a question wrong in the class I was late to because I went to the wrong room first after the teacher told me she didn't like graduate students because they have issues coming to class.  

Also, the evil look in his eye told me (I'm quite sure) that my advisor wanted me to miss the last bus home tonight.

Pray for me.


Dropping some knowledge on B.A.B.

The timberline* is usually a point where there isn’t enough air, heat, or water to keep trees alive. Small trees need less moisture and less oxygen. The trees will get shorter and shorter until the weather is too harsh for any trees, large or small, to grow.

*Not to be confused with Timbaland.


Going to Lakeside amusement park.

[After I declared I was going to go put on some underwear.]

"How's that bra feeling?"
"I'm not wearing one."
"Man, how do you live?"
"Braless. I'm sure there will come a time when I regret it."
"Like when you're riding on a jolting rollercoaster?"


I've seen it raining fire in the sky.

A camping trip in which I have a lot of sunflower seeds, cry a little because I'm scared, see 30+ shooting stars AND the space station, watch an eagle soar over a mountain lake, read a story in the rain till my bunkmate falls asleep, get to hold the world's cutest pug, cut my thumb open, bury my poop in the woods, perfect the smore, and end up in the hot springs with an ice cream cone and a happy boy. My my.




I chose: ignore. Maybe I should have directly addressed the issue.

How do you walk in to talk to your boss and pretend he doesn't have a piece of tape  (purposely) stuck on his lower lip that he's trying to slyly yet rapidly peel off? You tell me.

Mo' problems.

Hey, thanks, a-hole dude who called two minutes before work was out, for calling two minutes before work was out and being an a-hole.


Gotta eat my Activia later in the morning

Taking a poop during your lunch break is getting gyped of an extra 5-10 minute day break.

I gotta readjust.


I love the zoo!!!

The new elephant habitat at the Denver zoo is so awesome. You have to go, but you probably won't be lucky enough to have an adorable snow monkey swing on the rope right above you, cross its little feet, and look down at you as if you are the monkey. But, you'll still have a lot of fun.


Grab your cane.

"I haven't been out for a good evening constitutional in a while."
[Jan and Bab quietly confer on the meaning of this word]
"I thought that was illegal."
"Yeah, it's pretty degrading to women."

I don't wanna know!

I can't take it if an Olympian wants to "Act, or maybe get into fashion."  It completely negates the fact that I've been calling them superhuman for the last 3 weeks.
I'm looking at you, dummy.


Business ethics.

I got a real job. In a real office. With a boss and everything! I have a nameplate outside my very own office. And a window with a view. Of the hall... BUT! if I lean waay back in my chair, I can see into another guy's office, through his window to the outside world!

I can't blog all day, like I could when I was subbing. In fact, I was a little worried they'd find this blog when they were still considering hiring me. But, as some dude so politely informed me - this blog isn't rebellious or controversial.

Well, excuuuuuse me for having parents who made me go to Sunday school!

Anyways, work is cool and all, especially getting to hang out with adults, not bratty kids... but I miss napping. so much.


Number One rule of Whistling Club is Don't.

Listening to the constant whistling of a person who is not just tone deaf, but very much normal-deaf is what torture sounds like.


I just can't watch this little girl cry anymore.

Olympics, where does London beat Beijing?

 No More Racer Suits!!


"Ooh, it's finally warm enough that they can wear their swimsuits!"
"I think you're more excited about it than I am."
"It's a little weird. You know - since they have kids."


What happened to number plates?

Heh hee!

The speedo won't look as good.

Now that Michael Phelps is retired, there are those among us who are respectfully rooting for him to get fat. And although I agree the man should be allowed to cool his jets and be human, it seems such a shame to say goodbye to those abs. Where will we bounce all our quarters?

"I wanna see it - fat Michael Phelps!"


It's not stupid... it's funny.

"Why didn't you guys tell me that hat looked so stupid!?"
"Well, you liked it so much..."


Team JAN-BAB 10M Platform Synchronized Diving

Commentator #1:
What's interesting about this duo is that they're terrified of the event, but their synchronization is too good to quit.  They'll complete 3 full screams before the dive is finished, and watch how they grab their noses at exactly the same time. What makes this dive so difficult is their entry into the water - see how they enter butt first, cannonball style.
Commentator #2:
Every single dive is a risk to breaking those sits bones.  I love how when they come up for air, they're always so surprised at how long they were under, like they forgot to take a large enough breath.

Varsity Rules

ANYBODY can understand the volleyball rotation.  It's clockwise rotation.  The most natural rotation of all.  Jesus.  The first time she said that, she mentioned how the rotations they were doing were exactly like she remembered in HS.  NO CRAP.  THat's one of two rules of the stupid game.

So, it's cool when I oogle him.

"Is it like looking in a mirror?"
"Yeah. A mirror of potential."


Lift with your legs

If I was an olympic swimmer, I would go down in history as "the girl who couldn't lift herself out of the pool, ever." And I would have a team of people to drag me out of the pool after every race. And they'd get annoyed at my refusal to cooperate and how I would go very limp and disgrace my home country. And, I'd have an unsightly wedgie 100% of the time.