if you want to feel pretty, go to the fireworks stand on mulberry

You should have seen us picking these out. 3 for a Dollar sounds great, and it is. After asking lots of questions and receiving half-hearted answers, these bad boys are the ones we settled on. We asked the guardian of the shack if they sold real fireworks and he seemed slightly offended. He had shifty eyes and started sweating profusely after B told him to "Be cool, man." He said no. We knew the big ones had to be back there somewhere. We tried different code words, like "cheesewhiz" and "hiroshima" but he didn't (or wouldn't) catch our drifts.

So we left with this boogle: 2 packs of snappers, 1 pack of snakes, 1 disco, 1 laying hen, 1 racing monkey, 12 mini fountains.

The real show went down last night at around 10 pm. Spectacular extravaganza, as it's written in today's papers. Racing monkey broke the soundbarrier. Laying hen was supposed to be the finale, but that shifty-eyed idiot sold us the Rooster packaged in the Hen. When he told us the hen lays eggs and the rooster screams, we looked at him in disgust and said, "We'll take the hen." Imagine our dismay when the fuse reaches the package and it screams at us! No eggs were layed. Only one deafening scream.

Best night ever.


If I had to create some sort of flag for us it might look something like this.

don't be kong

B and i used to play Mario Kart a lot. I'm glad that bullshit is over.


Bring it

From the looks of it the only adults who like four square are huge nerds, but it can't be so because we love it.  Here are the facts: square 1 is the shit.  During my intensive research I learned that any special rules must be called out by the player in square 1 prior to the serve.  A really good player can use moves like the "Slice."  The player uses a hand to create either top or back spin on the ball.  This move creates major confusion, it uses medium power and is an accurate hit.  I advise you all to bone up on your four square moves because a tourney will be held on the streets right outside our house a few Saturdays from now.  This one's just for the kids who are allowed to go into the street.  Bring your own lunch, lemonade will be provided.  

This is not your grandma's four square.


Horsetooth, consider yourself tamed.


5.25 Tuesday night beers

Let it be known that we have a new gladiator among us.
Name: J
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 300 lbs of pure evil
Special Gladiator move: The Spray
With his tribal garb and distinctive tattoos, he may conjure up images of an island paradise, but facing him in battle is pure hell. Drawing on the power of his ancestors, J has the strength of a thousand warriors flowing through his veins, and he will never, ever show mercy.


We're baaaack!!!

Move aside Jew kids, the kickass quartet is back at Old Chicago.  Last week was a bit of a bust, what with the fewer than 10 beers had altogether and one key player sitting out.  This week we killed it.  Jay sneezed all over me and later on spat his beer on the 3 of us, Julie taking the brunt of it.  I loved every minute of it.  Let's go back every single day.

Bury my shell at Wounded Knee

Gary, my beloved pet snail, is dead.

Homer and Token aren't taking it very well. Who can blame them? I know I felt like killing myself. They seem distraught and aren't eating with their usual vigor.

At least we still have Jay and Jeff - the newest snails that came with new plant. They're all right, I guess. But they're so small. They won't be able to keep up with the algae like Gary could. I hope they feel bad about all the times I caught them climbing up on Gary's shell. Poor dude.

This is a picture of Jay. You can see him better if you squint.
God knows where Jeff is.


things have gotten out of hand

Please come mow our lawn.


talk about stank

hockey is such a stinky sport.  don't sit in the front row because the cold cannot fully cover up the stench.


I'M BACK. You're welcome, Fort Collins.

Just waiting for my buddy to get home from work.


Our Better Halves

Sure, we can say they missed out on an Office marathon, but, in truth, Jeff and I aren't much without our better hetero halves. Yeah we laughed, but we didn't cry. We sure couldn't play Rock Band with only two people.  I hope we aren't forced to put on happy faces much longer, my muscles are strained.