6.27.2011

Crested Butte: another YAYCO racing weekend

He didn't win, butt this guy took first place for total ass.
The Crested Butt.
Poor chump.

Infinity for bee culture

I heard about this on the radio one day.  When a bee colony decides it wants to relocate, they make this huge swarm and just kind of hang on a branch, chillin'. It looks like a moving beard and you could stick your hand in there without getting stung. Then some of the bees go off to find a new place to live and they come back to the beard to report what they scouted out. Here's the best part: the bees dance. They do a dance for the colony. Each step tells which direction and how far to fly to get to the spot. If it's a decent spot, the bee will do the dance about 30x over. If it's a particularly good spot, the bee will do the dance at least 100x over. And if that bee loves that place, if it can picture having little bee babies and happily growing old in that spot, it'll just dance and dance and dance. Some of the other bees will go check it out, and as a colony, they'll pick the best spot. And maybe they won't pick the spot of the bee who danced its heart out, but that bee will still go with them anyways. She'll just stay quiet and secretly long for the spot with the view of the little creek.

6.25.2011

It's not a lot, but it's my life.



I'm the kind of girl who gets hit in the face with the guitar pick at a concert; the kind of girl who gets a rubberband shot in her beer glass and has to pull it out and drink it anyway.  

6.23.2011

Yeah we brought dress shoes. You're lookin at 'em, they are called 'fancy sneakers.'

it has been 1 too many years since jan and i have been on a big adventure together.

no jar

6.22.2011

Use it in a sentence.

"Bulking. 25 pts. You know, like... he's bulking at the seams."
"... or he's bulking up."
"Yes. That's a better usage."

6.21.2011

I see a lady bug. Hello little lady bug.

"What are you doing to that lady bug?  Don't hurt it!"


"I'm belittling it, Pop-pa.  I'm telling it to be gone."

like i don't know that they are generally considered useful insects as many species feed on aphids or scale insects, which are pests in gardens, agricultural fields, orchards, and similar places.

"If you want to show something real, man - show, like, a homeless man, puking in the gutter." - Bob Dylan in No Direction Home

Those may not be his exact words, but it's pretty close. Watching that documentary a while ago on a bedsheet with a projector borrowed from the school to which I was enslaved was one of those moments where you're like, "I'm so cool right now." But then you're watching it and you're like, "Damn it, Bob Dylan. You're a little shit." And then you don't know if you're allowed to say you didn't really dig it as much as you thought you would.

6.17.2011

Robot Colony

Simba, it is time:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/crocodileundees

Don't feel like you have to buy one.

6.14.2011

Today, I was at the Volkswagon dealership

getting a headlight replaced because it's almost impossible to do it yourself in the new Beetles. Even the car man said he was very surprised/confused when he first heard how complicated it was. No one knows why it was designed this way. So, I offered up my speculation: "Hitler." And not a soul laughed.

That is, until I called this guy and retold the conversation. That's a reason to love him. An uncensored giggle.

6.11.2011

I, too, could pose with Asian tourists...again.

The other day I saw a bad sign twirler; he was just shaking the sign and I couldn't read the words!
Which led me to think of my own sign twirler technique.  I would probably wear neon clothes, hat and sunglasses.  I would twirl the sign really fast once then hold it out so people could read it.  Chances are good that I would practice for my friends and family to see which dance moves are the most impressive.
Sign twirling is Hard.

What are YOU lookin' at?

6.09.2011

overheads had their benefits.

Here's a story from a dear friend, Robyn, who was concerned about her health, so she searched her ailment on the interweb: "push nose tooth hurts." You see, whenst she pushed on her nostril, her incisor felt pain. A reasonable, weirdo concern, but ultimately Robyn's mom set her at ease and told her it was just sinus pressure, not an embedded sac of spider eggs as the web would have us believe.

Fast forward to when Robyn is teaching a lesson to a bunch of little bastards, projecting the image from her computer screen, and she realizes the google search still holds the words she typed in her quest for a diagnosis and ancient herbal spider poisons. Hoping they wouldn't notice (and knowing if she tried to go delete it they'd definitely notice), she continues to teach them that 'Mexican' isn't a racist term if someone is actually from Mexico. It's just what they are. And then a girl raises her hand.
"Uh, Ms. K... what were you googling?!"

And unfortunately for Robyn, she was googling "push nose tooth hurts."
bahahahahahahahaha.

6.08.2011

Make no apologies

BAB: "Remember when you were wearing those tight workout pants and I was a bit of a creeper and checked out your butt?"
JAN: "And you told me it looked 'nice'? Yeah. That was very sweet of you."

6.06.2011

A sure-fire way to get me to cry?

Call me and tell me your sister just had a baby girl.

Works every time.

Congrats to 3x Aunt BAB and her family that I love!

Bucket List

I don't have one, because I hated that movie.

But if I did have a list, I'd be able to cross off this accomplishment:

Pooped in a port-o-potty.

After 24 years, it finally had to happen.


"Well, I did it." "And?" "And it was horrible!"

6.04.2011

Just an angry white man.

"GRUMBLE Grumble grumble"

"I think Dad's hungry."

...BUMP... "Where were you on that one ol' Eagle Eye?"

"Man am I glad you're not me and I'm not TJ driving my car, because that would've really pissed me off."
JAN's confession after hitting a pretty huge pothole on the highway in my car.

6.02.2011

"Hey, Mister! You gotta wear a helmet!" "Don't worry 'bout it."

I know a girl who says she could hit the pitches in the major league ball games. When she says this, her boyfriend gets all huffy and says "No way." No way could she hit balls that are going over 90 mph. But, she can hit every ball in the batting cages, so why the hell not? And then he doesn't give an answer because he is having a mild heart attack due to cynicism.

Why am I telling you this story? Two reasons:
1) I like it; she truly believes she could hit those 90+mph pitches.
2) Who's to say she couldn't hit those pitches?

6.01.2011

Grandma and Grandson - Two Minds Becoming One

In perfect unison:

"you conTROL the Robot THAT Controls The SANTA!!!"
back story:  My mom asked Corbin what he wants for his birthday and she wrote every single idea down and shouted, "I like it!" Pretty much anything 'remote control' was money.

Angel Fire in T-24 hrs

It's crunch-time here at YAYco. 
And guess who keeps getting in trouble? 
These gals:
We're sorry!
We didn't mean to Chuck-it in the garage and then linger. 

I don't think Smokey would say you're being very "chill"

While ditching a hike by Grand Lake this weekend, I came across two Park Ranger Ladies who told me I should really try to walk right down the middle of the path, instead of on the side in the pokey bushes where they found me. Thanks, Ladies, I explained, but as you can see, this "trail" is completely flooded with run-off. You are basically asking me to walk through a creek in my new kicks. I'm not doing this just because I want a bunch of itchy scratches to mess with later. Which they understood, but still went on to tell me about the "Leave No Trace" concept all who venture into the forest should embrace. I started to explain to them that I'm a person, not a wild bobcat, but I just looked at those wide-brimmed hats and told them I'd try my best. Then I went and shared a frozen banana with Hooch and we laughed at those dummies whowere still trying to run up that mountain.