How to cure the Monday blues

1) Sleep in till 9a
2) Skip to step 6
3) Finish the second half of Iron Lady & cry a little & recognize you know squat about British politics
4) Stop by a homeless shelter & tell yourself not to be afraid & do something nice
5) Go for a hike & step off the path when you see a funny looking rock that might be a fossil. It never dammit is.
6) Listen to Beyoncé
7) Finish the leftover bookclub sangria while you sit on the porch with Hooch & watch the storm



I just want you all to take a minute and FULLY appreciate this.

Thanks for the laughs this week, pa!
Bab thinks you should start 
an instagram.
I'll explain what that is 
at another time.


Burkini!? That's my dream swimsuit! Full coverage.

I'm relieved (and sad) to know we aren't the only country that goes a little ape-shit-bananas after being gravely attacked by terrorists.

Yikes, France! Don't make US look like the enlightened little punk brother that grows up to earn 6 figures selling what can only loosley be defined as an idea, while you - the ivy league graduate - continue to teach philosophy night classes at the local Devry university & drown in the irony of the days you used to say "Community college is a great idea, but as far as a true education it lacks foundation and will not stand."

The Adventure Continued


Adventure is out there.


For a long time my mom had this
exact comic cut out from the paper &
stuck on the refrigerator.
I never knew what was so special
about it - it was the last Calvin & Hobbes
ever printed!
And after the hell of a day
we all had yesterday,
it's a comfort.



We finished the patio with some black berry margs & officially knighted Bab for being the only friend who volunteered to come help us! Her reward was blisters & being so sore she had to take ibuprofen to sleep.
I pretty sure my dad feels I wasted my talents by not becoming a professional brick layer. The strength of the Polish runs deep in my veins.


The Very Best Craigslist Ad.

Miss Manners suggests

to avoid greasy arms, trim the chip bag top as chip levels get low.

So tiny and cute!

And evilly wrecking the neighborhood

"One moah, c'mon!"

Don't let the 1980s nintendo graphic start-menu fool you, this lady handed me a good old fashioned meet-me-on-the-blacktop-at-lunchtime ass kicking.


A town hero.

His noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.



You are never too old 
to do the things you love
with the people you love.
Except the Olympics. 
You are most definitely too old
for the Olympics.

This weekend I hope you 
make time for something fun 
& educational.
And a few margs with your pal.
Happy Friday!


Pure gold

Oh em gee,
they are all so little 
and so strong
and so fearless
and so bendy!
Girls rule.


Miss Franklin

TJ's one admitted olympic crush!
(compared to my 25... I pretty much
just call dibs on them all)
I very much approve.


Golden boy

and he can still shed a tear.
What a wingspan.

(But, dare I say
 the biggest competition is the one
going on between his mother
and his wife for his affection.)

Do I like summer or winter olympics better?

Oh gee, I don't- summer.
Summer all day long.


Happy anniversary!

To these two awesome blossoms! According to their math, they have been married somewhere between 7 and 9 years.



Sometimes on Fridays
after 3pm
I look at this picture & think,
"Me too, baby girlfriend."

This weekend I hope your
offer gets accepted
on the house of your dreams
(that's what we are hoping for).
And if not, at least you'll have
Michael Phelps' sweet, sweet bod
to look at as a high-def
consolation prize.


Happy birthday, 'Bammy!

8 years of being one cool cat.
55 years of being one adorable mofo.
4 months away from that freedom doobie.


Golden Anniversary (3 for 3)

High-5 to the dude who
makes me think of
the sappiest country love songs
every time I try to describe
how much I am into him.
'Cause when he smiles that smile
the world turns upside down.

See! Damn it, Teej!
Happy anniversary, 
from me 
& Vince Gill.
I love you like a cowboy.