when you grow up on the east coast, you learn a lot of what some might consider to be worthless crap. like "don't fly a kite near powerlines" - a warning that played between every afternoon episode of Full House and made us fear being electrified by a kite. every school year some weirdos would bring in a snapping turtle that had been run over. the turtle would have a bunch of screws and wires in its shell, keeping it alive, i guess. and we'd get to pet it. that's right. they had it in a homemade wooden stock to prevent it from reaching back its long neck to snap us and they'd expertly explain how if that stock wasn't preventing it, the turtle would promptly turn and bite off my hand. and even though i was still sucking my thumb at that age, i remember thinking, "this is ridiculous."
Sometimes I get depressed that Julie and I didn't get to grow up together. But then today we were going through my old toys, most of which she had too, and it's kinda like we DID grow up together! She had the Littlest Pet Shop store in purple, while mine was pink and she told me which dogs were good for Barbie. So we talk and laugh about how good toys were when we were little and then I can start to replace my old friends with her in my memories.
down in mexico, my counsin was worrying about how he was going to smuggle back all his cuban cigars and i suggested he tape them to his baby's stomach, because, hey, who's going to frisk a baby? especially a baby that's packin' heat in the form of TNT.