5.29.2011

can't blog

because i finished teaching this week and i'm trying to cool my jets.
stay tuned.

ps. bab and i went to glenwood yesterday. it was heavenly.

5.27.2011


I cut my nails different lengths on accident.
  And you're crazy if you think I'm going back to fix things until next time.

5.22.2011

Always good for a laugh


When a tattoo shop opened up next door to my mom's work we thought really hard about what she should get 'inked.'


The general consensus led to a Tweety Bird Around the World Series.

The most permanent thing in life is

Comments that are left on this blog.  Because once they're submitted they can't be edited or even entirely deleted since if you remove one it simply says, "Comment has been removed."  And after that's been done, you want nothing more than to know what the heck that removed comment said.

Keep it in the movies.

On Wednesday, at two separate events in two different towns, JAN and I learned that if the phrase Hakuna Matata is taken out of the movie Lion King and put it into other moments of life, it is, in sooth, ineffective.
In fact, I think we each found that hearing "Hakuna Matata" evoked the sort of 'eye-roll' and heavy sigh that often comes when people take a childhood memory and try to make it solve our problems of today.  
While I'm on a roll, I also believe they shouldn't have added extra songs in new editions.
Don't you think we kind of owe to to New Orleans to make sure those levees hold this time?

Dateline, not 20/20

I don't watch tv too often, but I went to my parent's house two days ago and guess what I happened to turn on just then? The "Man who poisons wife with antifreeze." I kid you not. BAB said she hoped I didn't watch it again and I said I didn't but I really did for a few minutes. And I probably would have watched the whole thing, but Dr. Phil had an even more horrible topic for his show, and I watched that. Stupid tv. That's why I only like to watch precious Jimmy Fallon on Hulu.

Also, Oprah's going off the air on Wednesday?! Bye, Oppie. I loved you dearly from the ages of  14-17.

5.18.2011

a mug. and a pancake house.

When I started this forsaken career, BAB gave me this mug because every teacher should have a good mug. I love that mug and have sipped many cups of delicious green tea from it, usually in the morning when the doom felt heaviest; always warm and comforting, that mug made me feel like my pal was patting me on the back and saying, "Eff 'em. Eff 'em to hell." So, thanks for the simple encouragement all semester, pal.

The pancake house was from a student. And I like it, even if it has a chipped roof and weighs 15 lbs.

5.17.2011

"Why'd you start with the nipples?"

On my last day of work at Winter Park, BAB and TJ said I should cut away my dirty old uniform shirt (that I hated), bit by bit, throughout the day. So when it was time to say adios forever, I'd be pretty much shirtless.

And I only cut a few chunk off my sleeves and the bottom of the shirt, but it felt good. damn good.

I have one day left of "real" teaching, then a few days of finals, and then I'm done. One week! I wish there was something like that shirt that I could start destroying, bit by bit. Maybe I'll just start to write mini-swear words on the walls, on desks, on the windows that don't open, on the IT guy's mean ol' forehead. Something that says "Julie was here, but she's GONE BABY GONE." Something like "Ass" or "Poo."

5.16.2011

5.13.2011

I know why they call him Dirty Harry

because you see plenty of butts, boobs, and cooters.
The real gem of this movie is that fact that it tries to balance the delicate issue of race by having both the foolish black man and the wisened black man. One who is almost killed by Harry, one who saves Harry. Which leads to interesting anthropological discussions: 
"Have you ever had a black doctor?"
"No."
"Me neither."


5.11.2011

What can turn my frown upside down?



Getting to turn the industrial toilet paper dispenser to a new roll.

60% of the time it works, every time.
Baa ram ewe.
Baa ram ewe.
To your sheep, your fleece, your clan be true.
Fleece be true,
Baa ram ewe.

Thanks, Country Music, for always making a lame song so impossibly popular

"Hey, I have something for you. You gotta come closer to get it."
"If it's butterfly kisses, I'm going to be very disappointed."

5.09.2011

Happy Monday.

Sure, I'll call in sick if it means I don't have to teach a bunch of punks, and instead go to the mountains and whistle at elk and skip rocks on a pond and kick pinecones and bail on a hike to go do some serious napping with this dude.
And I won't regret it one bit.

But you don't get there if you're euthanized

Every time someone posts on facebook about a pet dying or being put down, I can barely control myself. Like these two posts from the same person:

"My poor goose got bitten by a fox today :( now about a third of his beak is gone. Doctoring him as we speak :("

"One of my chickens died today because the wind blew over a board and smashed him :( sad day."

What do you do with that? You leave it alone. You leave it alone, Julie.

But you know all I want to do is write "Goose heaven is a beautiful place." I even typed it out and then had to delete it. The biggest feat of self-restraint was when someone wrote about having to put their FERRET to sleep and i didn't write a word. Quit it people. The emoticons are too much. A lady is suffering over here.

5.04.2011

"Gotta love me!"

man.    this baby was sassy.

Mountain shenanigans: where the only rule is you have to finish your beer

What will I miss about living in the mts for the summer?
Oh, a few things.
All-Terrain putt-putt is at the top of the list.

Raise your hand

if you keep accidentally saying Obama.