Well that's redundant

(Middle right)

JAN left for the weekend to ride

"I feel like I'm departing on a voyage to America, leaving you, my Polish wife, in the motherland until I can afford to buy you a bike."


now this is a story about all how my life got flipped-turned upside down

I look like this

because of this

I crashed into a cliff's side on my bicycle.
I laughed and then I cried
and then I told TJ not to tell anybody I cried,
while I was still crying.
I'd show you the bruise from where I landed 
full-throttle on my chest, but. Poor Lefty! 
She has suffered blunt-force trauma,
but she'll live another day. 
She thanks you for your concern.
After picking out some prickly thorns, 
we got back on the bike.


My mom told me I could be whatever I wanted to be when I grew up, "within reason." when i asked her what she meant by "within reason" she said, "You ask a lot of questions for a garbage man."

Why you can't be a colorblind ornithologist:

"Nice bird drawing."
"Thanks. I'm trying to get all the details."
"Are you going to add the bright red stripe last?"
"What red stripe?"


Turns out I'm not the loveable nerd, I'm the bully you hate - Liz Lemon

BAB is taking a pottery class, and as expected, she is bullying the classmates she simultaneously hopes to befriend! She has reminded herself to only make self-depracating jokes or general hate jokes directed at the human race as a neutral whole - not the poor lady whose mug was so good the teacher used it as a prime example of technique, and BAB said, "Wow! You're so good, you should be the teacher!"

I'm glad I wasn't there because I probably would have said, "Here's a free lesson, I learned this move from Patrick Swayze."


a broadway critique!

"It was pretty good, but Big Mama Morton was a letdown! Although, Queen Latifah was so awesome in the movie, it's hard to compete."
"Agreed. I really like Queen Latifah. Her face is quite beautiful."
"Whhhha? TJ! Do you have a little jungle fever?" 
"... yeah. I guess I do!"

And then we agreed we should watch Taxi soon.


Have you ever been scoffed at for suggesting to add ice to wine so as to cool it down faster than refrigeration?

Then I presume you also have never accidentally bought a box of red wine instead of white and had 3 boxes of red wine in your apartment at once.

It's all fixed now.

I donated the extra red to jan and got myself that box of white I've been dreaming of, each glass stocked with 2 ice cubes, mister.


Did you hear I got a bb gun for my birthday?! Her name is Mother

Here's how to have the maximum good time with your bffl:
First make sure you know that "Fire at the ready" means that the safety is OFF, take aim
 Try to get the ninjas and/or pirates before the wind does, careful to not hit the Pooper Scooper!
 Turn your safety ON and take pictures without goggles because you look dorkier than you thought.
see what I mean?


Mead is an alcoholic beverage created by fermenting honey with water, and frequently fruits.

They should also mention "essence of antiseptic" in the aftertaste, not a fan.



Grizzly Adams DID have a beard

What he didn't have was a protected brain because a bear done ripped his skull off, which
healed and was ok. Until another bear bopped him on the head and split everything back open. More than once. Which also would have been ok, but then a monkey bit the non-skull protected brain part, and then poor Grizz died a little while later.


She also made the yummiest black/blue berry pie for my bday.

The little baby is crafting! We couldn't be more proud (even if she wasn't sure if she should get thread for her sewing project).
 the big baby is getting air out of the pool tube


40 degrees F at the Glenwood hot spring

"It's pretty cold out there to be sunbathing."

"Well, he IS wearing a sweater."



Gone are the dog days of Sayulita

The collar meant he was safe to pet.


you know, the part-giant lady character in a sea of beautiful half-naked temptresses

"You'd be Brienne in game of thrones - good at wielding small shield."
- my husband, the flatterer

we 've started forwarding through the sex scenes - boring!