a heart 2 sizes too small

last Christmastime, we watched Heidi. by the end of it, my dad, mom, and i were crying. i looked over at BAB, and nothing.

"BAB," i declared,"doth this not bring a tear to thine eey?"

"Oh, I think i fell asleep at the sad part."

.

"You mean you missed the part where Clara learns to walk again?!"

"No, I saw that part..."

[we glare at her].

Hopefully by this Christmas, instead of an icecube, she'll have a heart.

never too old for a piledrive

I'm rooting for the Phillies because they feel the same way about the elderly as I do.

So Lame

My #1 life regret as of right now:

I was chatting it up with some pals and one asked who would you most want to see in concert? My mouth said "Beach Boys."  Whilst I  dearly wanted to say Muppets in Toronto.  For shame.

and suddenly...they ain't your hoes no mo'e

In the words of E.T., "Ouuuuch."

be a donor

I always thought this movie was about a man who had a baboon-heart transplant. When I rewatched it, I was like, "When he get his monkey heart?" Apparently I was remembering something else. Like the Diary of Anne Frank.

thanks for the laughs

if there's anyone who is owed an apology by the balloon-boy family, it's this guy:
you know, the one who was sprinting gung-ho across a dirt field because he thought, "Dear God, there's a child in that balloon! I have to catch that balloon! I will save him! Eagle Powers - come to me!" but alas, he tripped and fell. and the empty balloon gently floated to the ground, much to his relief and embarrassment.

fangorn forest is, like, our favorite place on earth. middle, that is.

just another day in the life.

Speaking of Skywalker

When I was in elementary school we were the Lukas Elementary Skywalkers.
As in Lukas Skywalkers.

And that didn't really hit me until a couple of days ago.

Yes Sensei.

When I was reading Shogun on vacation, I got all into honor and their crazy customs.
Like daily bathing.




I did not imagine John Blackthorne would look so much like Luke Skywalker.

Thanks For Not Hiring Me

Well I sent thank you's to the people who decided someone else had a better face for research than me. But I emailed them, because I wasn't going to waste a stamp on no fool. It went a little something like this:

Dear Research Nerd,
I love all Biology life.

But I hate you.

Thank you,
Brittany

the first rule of fight club: you do not talk about fight club

we used to have this really boring friend and whenever we'd hang out with this bore of a person, BAB and I would start fighting with eachother. it was weird. finally, we realized this person was SO boring that we'd been having to resort to fighting so that we'd have something to entertain us while suffering in the company of ol' boreface. and that's why we stopped hanging out with other people: it's bad for our relationship.

rookie mistake

Hey kids, let's learn a little life lesson from your dear Aunt Julie: don't ever choose the bathroom as your hiding place. People are bound to enter for a number of different reasons. Two, specifically. And you will either get stuck behind the shower curtain as your friend's dad finishes the crossword puzzle, if you know what i mean (and if you don't, ask BAB because it's really her story) OR in the case that the shower only provides clear glass doors, perfect for nothing you intend, you will have to step out from behind the door to face the humiliation as somebody inevitably says, "Let me just pee before I go." And in those few scary seconds as you see their shadow coming closer, you think to yourself, "How do I not scare them and how do I not look like a big dummy?" and the answer is that you can't avoid either situation, so you must simply confess, "Sorry. I was hiding in here" as they turn on the light. Then you hang your head and walk into the hall, only to encounter the person you were just hiding from because you didn't want him to see you're not a natural blonde, and he had just turned you down when you asked him to Homecoming right before dinner.

after they filmed this movie, Brad and Tom could never again look eachother in the eye

"Interview with a Vampire" sucks.

I Heart Hubble

If I were to be any kind of nerd, I would be a space nerd.

this little piggy suffered blunt trauma

One time in the apartment I sliced open my baby toe on the old, rusty floorboard heaters. It started bleeding profusely, so I hobbled over to my chair and called out for BAB. But she never came. As I was supergluing my toe back together, she strolled in and said, "What happened?!" I, with my bloody stump of a toe, recounted the events to her.

"Why didn't you call me to come help you?" she asked.
"I did. Four times."
Sometimes I catch BAB looking at my baby toe and I find extreme comfort in the belief that she's wallowing in anguished regret for having let me quietly bleed to death.

Learning the hard way.

Did you know that "free thinkers" are atheists? Me neither. Not until I went to the seminar and chilled with a bunch of them. And here I assumed "free thinkers" were just people who thought outside the box or discussed the many facets of an issue.

Here's a picture of a precious baby bear to help us all deal with this tense subject I just presented.

i'm glad the anglo saxons were so rich and murderous

I'm buying a metal detector and moving to England. Smell ya later.

tonight i dream of little debbies

look what BAB and I found in the back yard!

he was approved!!

i miss these a-wipes.

so so much.