4.13.2011

in the name of all that is good and decent, no more for today.

The best part about the end of the school year is all the slackers who finally decide they want to feign interest in bringing up their grades. I enjoy when I'm giving them the list of their missing assignments, due 2 months ago, and their eyes glaze over because there are too many usually dormant synapses firing and the brain mistakenly thinks it's being electrocuted. And I ask if they give a shit and they say, "Uh. Oh. What? Yeah." Parent emails showing inability to add multiple zeros resulting in a total of zero, as in "your child has earned zero points because their work is non-existent," well, those emails explain a lot about the child and warm the heart. When students ask how they can get their grade up, all you really want to tell them is to "Take the 'f' out of 'way.'"

It could be worse, I suppose. I could be teaching these kids:

And always be having to pull ninja stars out of my back, or employing the tai otoshi every m.f.n. second.
or, I could be teaching someone like this guy:
Although, I do have one student that is close as they come to this without the drugs, and one day I left my computer on while he was alone in the room. When I came back I said, "Hey! you didn't snoop through my stuff, did ya?" And he said, "Yeah. I changed my grade. To a HIGH F." Now THAT is both funny and adorable.
("But Ms. N... there is no f in way." "Grin and nod.")

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