4.06.2016

Science or somethin

The worst thing about the internet is the abundant wealth of knowledge at your fingertips. There is no question you can think of that hasn't been answered by somebody somewhere. You have lost your lackluster freedom to just "wonder" "why" something does something. If you ask that generic question, odds are you will be told to "google that shit, dummy." You can't just keep on wondering and contentedly leave it hanging off an unconnected synapse, hoping somehow (without any effort of your own) the answer will come to you. Take for example this jar of honey I got in my stocking 3 years ago. Not this past Christmas, or the one before that, but the one before THAT. It has been in my work cupboard since then, used constantly for high-noon tea-time and YET it has not crystalized. My only theory is the honey comb. Those little bees have some sort of magical power stored in the wax that keeps the gold flowing. I am filled with wonder everytime I pull out the jar. Why does it do the things it do?

Somebody google it! But please! Try not to just say the answer without any flare for reveal. I want you to tell me that you learned it working at a nunnery in the Himalayas, where they kept bees warm in the cold climate by chanting prayers (with lots of zzz sounds) all through the night. And during an especially cold shift, just when you thought you maybe shouldn't be there, a nun let you in on the secrets of the honey flow.

But, if you just "googled it," keep that boring shit to yourself. 

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