3rd Grader Kicks My Ass in Mexico Story-telling

"Did you have fun in Mexico, Silas?"
  "Yeah."  
"Did you snorkel?"
  "Yup, and we saw big sea turtles!"
(Big whoop, we saw baby sea turtles)

"And we went to a monkey sanctuary, where we went in the cages and a monkey sat on my lap and groomed my head."