More of a hindrance

"It's a shame we're not more musical.  Then we could sing along and sound nice."

                              - J.A.N.

Bluff

JAN: I gotta go home and clean.
BAB: You always say that.
JAN: Well, if I don't clean - it's your fault. For telling me that I won't.

Meathead

"Take me to the Egg Store! And then to the gym!"

- dudes who have big muscles

Moldy bread!

Cursed heat! Ruined my dinner plans of a PB&J.

Nelson.

Apples to oranges

Dear iPhone havers - There are still those of us who are stuck with such things as cell phones with pushable buttons. And there's limited everything on our phones. So, when you text us, what looks so adorable in quotation bubbles to you, comes in as 15 separate messages to us. Flooding our inbox. We just thought you should know.

Just in case

you've forgotten how cute she is:

Sheesh.

redemption

Fire.

When Bab's niece was a little too young, she saw Toy Story 3. And when we asked her if she liked the movie, she looked scared and said one word: "Fire." When I finally saw the movie I understood why she said that.
  
If you live in Colorado, you feel just like Woody and his gang in this scene. Send us some rainy wishes; we're literally on fire.

Mexico's got it right.

I know they have their problems, but lets ignore their ongoing drug-war genocide for a moment. One thing they're doing right down there is cereal - made of churros. Yeah, it's like Cinnamon Toast Crunch on crack. And lets be honest - there's probably a little crack mixed in with these things.

Good God, Lemon!

Some of the sweetest words a dude can tell you are: "I kind of have a crush on Tina Fey."
Because Tina Fey is doable. It's like, Tina Fey?...Hell yeah, I can do that! I can be that! She's goofy and has a wardrobe that consists mostly of plaid. To be honest, I kind of have a crush on her, too.

So thank you,Tina Fey, for creating a dream
that is somewhat attainable.

Unlike Scarlett Johanson, that impossible cooter.
We all can't just grow giant lips and boobs overnight.

Another Task

Forgot to add to agenda: get crapped on by bird when riding bike to library.

Today, I thrive.

Today's agenda

My stomach aches, so I guess I'll just keep fueling that worry and get more scared by researching possible causes on the www. Should be a good day.

96 degrees

It's too damn hot for a penguin to just be walkin' around.


So, if you need me, I'll be at the pool by my parents' house with all the other high schoolers. 

How could I NOT love BAB?

After telling her about a weird dream that ended up being awesome because the big surprise was that my grandma was there in the end! Eating dinner with us! And the second I said it was my grandma, BAB got tears in her eyes and told me "How great!" that was... I would have kissed her on the forehead if we weren't in the pool and trying to balance on noodles.

"He's so tan." "Jinx."

Poor news anchors. They say their names every time they start speaking to us, but no one is actually listening. When we see them in public, we know the face (mostly because it is unearthly tanned, and the hair poofage is inspirational) but if we had to give a name, we'd be Hellen Kellers. We were surprised to see this "Ed Greene" eating tacos (name learned after some research), but it was the same as that time we saw that "lady from the news" at IKEA. It's almost like bird watching; you don't know the species, and you don't really care to. They're just birds. Birds that sometimes tell you somebody got shot on Colfax.

"We should go ask him what's the news today."
"He'd be like, This just in - two lesbos are annoying me when I'm trying to eat tacos."
"Well, he's mean."

Shout out to the dads!!

Happy father's day to the greatest dad I know,
Michael Landon.

1 year of tap and 1 year of jazz

gives me the kind of dance experience to say, "That dance to Travis Tritt's It's a Great Day to Be Alive, was just too literal."
"How can you turn rice cooking in the microwave into a dance without it being literal?"  The dancer could very well reply.

It's like this outfit, I know the designer was thinking - Western Desert, only because they spelled it out for me.




Anyways, check out Tritt's song if you don't know it by heart. 

Finked

"I didn't work very hard at aquasize tonight, TJ."
"What? You didn't work hard AND you're having icecream?"
"Yeah, well, Brittany ate FOUR DONUTS TODAY!"

and that was the
end of that.

Thanks, BAB, for satiating your inner Homer J. Simpson!

For whom it may concern:

Things that are making me rather happy these days:

The radio loved the Carpenters, and the Carpenters hated food.

I would have guessed: Hunger games

My first inclination was to laugh at the adult male neighbors, when what originally looked to be tree trimming turned into "make a stick to stick fight with." But, my second inclination was to hop the fence and yell "fight! fight! fight!" It was slightly admirable, the fighting they were doing. Unexpected for sure. Mostly surprising that they didn't start making light saber noises. But, in the end, I just chuckled to mahself and stayed in the hammock.

Tincup

This weekend we went camping and I caught my first fish! The death of the worm was slightly traumatizing. But this little fella was a fighter and is, I'm pretty sure, a rare red shark. He swam back to freedom. I'm a catch and have-the-dude-pull-out-the-hook-releaser. I also caught and released Hooch's ear. Poor poor Hoochie - kept a far radius from me for a while after. That one scared the shit outta you and me both, buddy.

No Fair

Often when we're practicing cannonballs at the pool, we see some military folks who are doing their swimming exercises.  Wisely, Julie always calls the best looking ones for herself.  

But as it is, she has a b.f. who is often on these blog pages and I don't.  Give us a chance, lady! 

Mullet Lingo

After seeing quite the 'do on a man biking by my work, I thought about how I can never remember where the "party" and "business" ends are.  I think:  Party sounds like short hairs sticking up having a good time, but then you can swing your pony tail around at a party so maybe that's the back.

After inquiring on wikipedia, I now know the business is up front and the party is in back.  I'll likely remember this by knowing that they're in alphabetical order.

No one wore it quite like Uncle Jesse though.

One desire that's left in me

Two years ago, we went to the Edward Sharpe concert and were blown away when he asked people to sit on the grundy floor and they did it! Then they played "Man on Fire," and since then, I have wanted to hear the song again. I've repeatedly watched the only recording someone put on youtube. When the band came through Boulder accouple weeks ago, we went, mostly so I could hear and record this song to have for my very own listening pleasure at my leisure. What you will see in this video is the moment just after Alexander says, "We're going to play a new song called Man on Fire." Just after I screamed like the happiest bell uh dah ball:

Yeah. Bummer. Of course those hippies wouldn't play it. Well, now they have a new cd and this is the first track. It's not as upbeat/man-on-fire-ish as when they sing it live, but it'll do :)

Tramampoline

don't act like I'M the idiot.

At a recent human gathering, I brought up the Morgan Freeman Olympic commercials and my affinity for them. I mentioned how that very day, I had seen the first new commercial and it had already made me cry, typical. Because those commercials have soul. And then those fartasses were like, "Wha? Morgan Freeman? Olympics? Where are the hotdogs?"

Some people.

ps. I just saw an NBC blip with KERRI WALSH AND MISTY MAY! They're back, baby. And their plan is to make history.

JAWS

No one knows why this movie is rated PG. I guess kids back in the day were accustomed to boobs, savage deaths, and so much blood. Probably because of the wars.